1. Last night I got home and walked up the steps to enter my house and Rambo was standing there with a big shit-eating grin on his face and told me to close my eyes and took my hands and led me into the kitchen. I bet you’re thinking he got me a bazillion white Kit Kats cuz I still haven’t remembered to tell him I’m over them…but you’d be wrong.
There on my counter sat all the cinnamon crunch bagels that Panera bread had left. He said he told them to “give me all you got” and they bagged them up and there were 24 of the suckers. They are divine. One day later? Only 12 remain. No. I didn’t eat 12 myself – my girls love them too. And yes. It is very pathetic that Rambo buys me my favorite foods when he’s out on trips. This is why I never wonder why I carry Sheniqua around on my hips. I could tell Rambo to quit bringing me surprises but really – that’s just crazy talk.
2. I surprised Rambo back this week. We used to go to college football games all the time in the pre-kids days. It was sooo much fun. We’d get a hotel and shop and hang out and then go to the game and drive the 2 hour drive home whenever. Our college team usually goes to the Rose Bowl so tickets for their games are usually sold out FAST. It’s been years since we’ve gone. But that’s about to change. I got a bug up my butt and took a chance and called and I kid you not – there were 4 tickets left. I bought 2. Rambo is about to do cartwheels he’s so freaking excited. It turns out to be the weekend of my bday so he’s planning the whole dang weekend out in his head. I cannot wait!
3. Rambo is going in for his next tattoo “fitting” and he’s scheduling a touch-up for me at the same time. Wanna know what he’s getting? An old-style pin-up girl with my face and hair. In one hand she’ll be holding a platter of cupcakes and in the other hand behind her back she’ll be holding a straight razor or handcuffs….devil and angel type thing. He’s crazy. I’m going to try really hard not to get another tat while I’m there…I only need touchups…but I “want” more.
4. Next week I have to hold a board meeting for twice the normal amount of people as usual. And I have to speak at it. Like in front of the people who attend. Holy Frankenstein’s ass I hate that. I shall wear a turtleneck (even though it’s 90 degrees) so no one can see my hives.
5. Um, let’s skip to #6. This is getting too long.
6. Have you ever played double trouble crosswords? They are crosswords sort of. Once you find the answer to the question to put in the boxes – you have to then figure out how many of the letters of the answer go in which box to help make the next answer right. It’s a little challenging and I just ordered two books of only double troubles. Almost every night I do about 5 of them. I’m addicted. And nuts.
7. There is only one week of summer vacation left for my kids. I hate school time. It makes me want to cry. Especially when the school supply list now requires us to buy spoons, paper plates and flash drives. Remember when all parents had to buy was crayons and Elmer’s glue that little Johnny could eat?
8. I’m going to see The Expendables 2 this Sunday. I would go even if there wasn’t a single word spoken during the whole thing. Just to stare at the bulging muscles on the real Rambo (Sly Stallone) and the other men in the movie. They’re all getting old but I don’t give a damn. They are still yummo on a stick.
9. Again, skipping to #10. This is like a damn novel. Cripes.
10. Oh, look – you’re almost done reading this nonsense. I can’t wait until tomorrow. Not only does Rambo have his first weekend off in a while but tomorrow night, just he and I are going on a Harley ride to the city just to get frozen yogurt so I can pile it high with M&Ms and butterscotch. Because I was almost thrown out for making orgasmic moaning noises while I ate there last time, I will probably eat outside this time. It’s just safer. And more appropriate in general.
That’s it for me. Anyone feel like doing a BYOC if I post one tomorrow? It’s been a while but I might just pull one out of my ass for old time’s sake!