Happy Humpalump Day Skittles!
I can’t seem to form normal paragraphs today so Ima gonna do bullets.
• Wanna know what the kids in Podunk do when they are bored? Well, they go sledding. Down hills. In August. On grass. Yup. My kids and the neighbors spent half the day sledding down a huge hill in the neighbor’s backyard – on grass. And they flew. It could be because we have hardly any grass due to the drought but it just looked crazy. I never even asked whose idea that was.
• I know I’ve said this before BUT whoever invented the bigger packages of M&Ms that say “Sharing Size” in the corner was clearly not a woman. Who shares chocolate? Especially when there is clearly not enough to share even though the package dictates that you should. Share my ass. No way.
• Rambo has a doctor appointment today regarding something with his wrist/elbow that has been hurting him. He saw a regular MD who then said he should see a specialist. Wanna know what kind of specialist he is seeing today? For his ARM? A neurologist. Ah yes – someone finally figured out Rambo has a head problem. LOL
• Speaking of Rambo….I sincerely hope I am never faced with the challenge of replacing him in my life. On the radio this morning, I heard that the biggest turnoff for men towards women is ________. Can you guess what it is? I was thinking bad breath. No teeth. Camel toe. 16 kids from prior relationships maybe? Nope. None of the above. It is TATTOOS. Shitballs. I’m screwed. If that’s men’s biggest turnoff in women – and Rambo wasn’t in my life for some reason – I’d be single forever after. Just me and my tattoos. I’ll have to get some cats I suppose.
• I had lasik eye surgery so I wouldn’t have to wear glasses and today I’m wearing fake glasses. What the what? I can’t help it. They are olive green, blue and brown plaid patterned and they are super cute. And fake. And not necessary to see. Cuz I got surgery to not wear glasses. Geez.
• The local military branch here is shipping out to Afghanistan this week. It seems so odd for men and women to be going there when all you hear about it is how the war is over and everyone is coming home. So sad. So heroic.
• Also – as you saw above – I think I found my new candy addiction. It’s M&Ms. And only in the LARGE sharing packs. Goodbye white KitKats…hello pretty little round bites of happiness. Just looking at the colors makes me smile. I think M&Ms are Skittles first cousins…which is probably another reason why I love them so much.