It’s Triple T day – Ten Things Thursday - courtesy of Mrs. LaureBelle! Come – join the fun!
1. I figured out something good about summer being over. New episodes of my favorite TV shows are starting to come on. My DVR is working overtime lately taping things like Sons of Anarchy, Parenthood, Greys, etc. etc. All the more reason to come home, put on pajamas and never move from the couch. Except to eat. And maybe pee.
2. Around these parts, it’s harvest time. Corn-picking has officially begun for the farm that Rambo works for on his off days from the prison. It is this time every year when I am again reminded that farmers are some of the hardest working people on Earth. Farming is either in your soul – or it’s not. Yesterday Rambo got up at 3am and he didn’t come back home until 10pm that night. Back up at 3am to do it again. Even after 19+ hours of manual labor, I could tell by the way he was talking and by how much more there was to be done – that he wanted to stay out in the fields. His body was exhausted and needed sleep – but his mind wanted to keep going. Farming will always be in his blood. I talked to the guy I work with at my other job (he also works at the same farm as Rambo) and he had been up for 2 days straight with no sleep – picking corn. Thousands of acres and a tight weather deadline and you have no choice. I think it nearly kills Rambo to have to go work at the prison instead of being in the trucks and tractors.
3. I went to a parent’s house last night for a meeting. She is a single mom of two kids. Her house could have been in a magazine it was so clean. I wanted to shank her for showing Rambo what living in a clean home could look like. My house isn’t like an episode of Hoarders or anything….but it looks slightly like a tornado went through it. Three times. I don’t have time to clean. See #1.
4. Banana is reading. I mean she read individual words last year in kindergarten but this year she is bringing home books and she reads the books to me. In sentences and paragraphs. Like a complete story. There is something literally magical about seeing a kid realize that they can read and how that opens up a whole new world for them. It also means that for Rambo and I – spelling shit out so she can’t know what we are saying – no longer works. Which sucks ass. Now we only have hand signals. And we look dumb
5. Our neighbors set out a live trap to try to catch some pesky raccoons last night. This morning she called me frantically and said, “Um, can Rambo come over with one of his guns? We caught a skunk and he’s pissed.” Oopsie.
6. Do you have a sex code with your sex partner? On Parenthood – the big joke was that a couple on the show scheduled sex via their synced up smartphone calendars. They didn’t label the appointment sex. They labeled it “funkytown”. Love it. Our code is dessert. Rambo emails me from work and always says random crap like, “What should we have for supper? Is there a meeting tonight or a game? Can we have dessert after that? With sprinkles on top?” Makes me laugh. If anyone ever read his emails they’d think he was obsessed with dessert. It is necessary to use code though – remember – we have TWO kids who read now! LOL
7. I have figured out that pre-picking out my 7 year old’s clothes the night before school does NOT work. Last night we picked out her pink camouflage sweatpants set…because she is Daddy’s little hunting girl, right? Yup – well – just for last night apparently. This morning there was no way in hell that camo was going on her body. She came out to the kitchen in a pink and black Harley Davidson shirt, skinny jeans and black high heeled knee high boots. I gave her the look and she said, “What Mom? I ride Dad’s Harley so today I’m a biker chick. Duh.” Duh indeed, turdball. So much for prepping the night before, diva. Now get your rebel ass in the car.
8. Speaking of children – I told you last week that for some reason – me and Banana are obsessed with watching A Baby Story on TLC. Pretty predictable show. Pregnant mom has baby. Not a lot of suspense. Apparently I’m reliving the feelings of pregnancy and newborns. Every single time Rambo sees me watching it he says, “We should have a little boy. Don’t you think we should go adopt one?” To which I respond: ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR EVER-LOVING MIND??? Remember us – moronhead? The people with 7 jobs and 2 kids and naps to take and tv shows to watch incessantly? Go have a son with someone else and then come back to me when you are done and let me know how that worked out for you, mkay?
9. And speaking of baby boys - I have to babysit a 9 week old baby boy this weekend. That is either going to backfire and make Rambo want to have a son more OR completely work in my favor and make him realize newborns are only fun when they aren’t yours. I may pinch the baby just to make sure he cries loudly while Rambo is holding him.
10. Last night for supper I stopped at a local ice cream joint and got chocolate ice cream with M&Ms mixed in. It’s getting cold here and I thought that maybe the owners were starting to worry that their ice cream profits would start dwindling due to the cold, so I had to be sure and let them know that everything is going to be okay and cold weather will have no effect on true loyal customer’s ice cream habits. I am such a great community servant, don’t you think?
Tootles, my Skittles!