With that being said, I’d like to tell you that Rambo shares an office with me. The room used to be our master bedroom until we added on a new one. There are countertops/tables that line the outsides of 3 walls and then create an L shape in the middle. Our computer screens are back to back so we face each other while we work. I can’t see him because he’s a man so he had to have a computer screen the size of Texas. All that matters to me is that I can see my TV so I can watch trashy reality TV while I work.
When he’s being a big idiot – he’ll instant message me on Facebook…from 2 feet away. The setup works well because my 2 PT jobs coincide with 2 of Rambo’s PT jobs. We share a lot of documentation and a lot of time in that room.
We do NOT share our love of organization. Rambo just makes one big pile. Then the pile gets so big it starts to lean. Then slide. Then fall over. Pens are strewn willy nilly and not in pretty little cups like on my side. It’s a damn disaster and it drives me crazy.
We get TONS of mail every day. Take your average amount of household mail and quadruple it for us. All the mail for the Villages and Commissions we work for comes direct to our house. Some days there can be over 50 pieces of mail to open. When it comes in, Rambo sorts it and I have labeled baskets lined up so that he can put certain things in the basket that they belong to. He “ain’t got no” baskets on his side of the office. Half the time his paperwork stays out on the kitchen counter instead of in his office
This weekend I got the bright idea to organize Rambo’s space. I couldn’t take it anymore. I bought a shelf and put the thing together with my pretty pink hammer and minimal swear words.
I then proceeded to organize the shit out of his space. By the time I was done – I wanted to trade spots with him. I went nutso. His desk has NOTHING on it now but his keyboard. It is super kuh-lean. Also - courtesy of his 7 year old daughter – he now has a Hello Kitty box that holds his business cards. He’s got a cool Miller Lite pen holder filled with lots of pretty pens and highlighters.
When I showed him that he had the nerve to say, “I only need one pen!” Blasphemy! I cannot believe he said those words out loud. Is he brain dead? One pen??? Unacceptable.
I told him I should be on HGTV. The makeover is that amazing.
I was so excited that I re-organized my side of the office too and the huge shelves along the 4th wall too. I filed the stack of papers on the file cabinet that dated back to 2009.
I got his papers on the kitchen counter and put them on his new shelf.
Big mistake. Huge.
I mean he loved his new space. Raved about it properly for the 7 year old who helped and was so proud of her work.
But the next day he asked where the paperwork on the counter was. I said, “In your office – where it belongs.”
There had been two extra long cardboard envelopes on the counter. (key words: HAD BEEN – past tense) I took the docs out of the envelopes cuz they were ugly and long and bulky and put the papers nicely on his shelf. Turns out those docs weren’t to be kept by us. They were to be signed and left in those envelopes and sent to the DNR.
Massively important paperwork USED TO BE in those ugly brown envelopes.
My stomach hurt. I had to find those envelopes. Yours truly then emptied the entire FULL trash bag piece by piece into another trash bag. Without puking or gagging. I was on a mission.
After I went through the whole bag – I remembered I had put the envelopes on the deck because they could be burned later in the fire pit. Thank Jesus!
Rambo says he told me that stuff had to be mailed (he totally did but I’m not telling him that) and that I should ask before I do stuff with his paperwork next time. I say if the shit is that important – put it in your damn office – not on the kitchen counter.
We were both panicked. This DNR project is worth millions and affects shitloads of people and we have to get it right and that’s on us and a few other board members. It’s scary as hell if I let myself think about it.
I mailed out the package this morning so everything is right with the world once again.
I think the moral of this story is threefold.
One - Leave the HGTV shit to the pros. A $15 shelf doesn’t make you Martha Stewart.
Two - Hello Kitty can't fix everything.
Three – Everyone has their own “method to their madness”. Let them be happy with their one boring ass pen. Just because you think it’s broke – doesn’t it mean it actually is.
I think I’m officially banned from his side of the office after this. Which sucks – cuz his side is really pretty now, you know?
I hope the snotface knows I’m stealing that Hello Kitty business card holder the first chance I get. Don't judge. You know damn well you'd steal it too.