Monday, December 31, 2012

2012 Life and Blog Recap!

I wasn't going to do a recap of 2012, but I have no life and nothing else to write about  I want to be like all the other cool bloggers so I'm doing one.  Lucky you.

In January, I was taught that swearing was toxic and that farting was to be called "pressuring".  Remember that?  Jesus balls.

I also decided to go gluten-free for 30 days to see if it would stop my migraines.  It didn't work.  But to be fair - I now know that I should have done it way longer than 30 days.  My bad.

I pissed off about 50% of my followers by confessing that I'm not a fan of twatting or Pinterest.  I stand behind my feelings on both of these one year later.  I'm stubborn that way.

In February, I wrote a little ditty about what I would do if I were President just because I saw a bunch of other bloggers doing it and I'm a follower - not a leader.

I contemplated about whose bed was the sex bed this month too and it was one of my most viewed posts.  I learned that if you put the word "sex" in your title - lots of people read it.  Little tip from me to you. 

March rolled around and I decided that I hate other people's kids.  Again - I stand by that feeling.  I'm pretty sure this is never going to change. 

Just as the word "sex" will garner you massive amounts of readers - so will the word "vagina" apparently.  By far - thee most read post I did in 2012 was the one with the words "vagina botox" in it.  Jesus.  When people say sex sells, they ain't kidding.

By this time, it was summer.  Rambo and I spent a shitload of time on the Harley.  We went on a lot of solo rides and lots of rides with our "club".  I have the leather hoochie mama vest to prove my "membership".  I got a new arm tattoo.  We saw lots of fireworks as a family and basically just enjoyed the summer.

I opened up Drazzie's Closet this year too.  I've sold lots of things to lots of people so I can buy more things I don't need. I became a full-blown Coach whore and bought way, way, way too many new pairs of boots!

Banana turned 7 this year and Watermelon turned 12.  Rambo turned the big 40 and I turned 25 again.

Rambo continued driving semi and was elected Mayor of Podunk this year too!  He has almost 15 years in at the prison and I have almost 15 years in at my full time job and continue working 2 part-time jobs for the village we live in.  We are buh-izzy but we love it!

Speaking of working for the villages, do you remember the lovely board meeting gone bad that I wrote about?  Ugh.  The things I do for my community.  They should pay me more.

All throughout the year - I was named Mother of the Year over and over.  I can't help it.  I'm just that good terrible.  Yes.  I have begun saving for the therapist bills my children will no doubt have due to the scarring I've caused.  Eesh.  That's not to say that there weren't incredibly touching moments as a mother....all that I will always be glad I have documented here.

Towards the end of the year, I couldn't help myself and got political.  It's in my blood.  I can't help it.

Rambo finished the year with a new tattoo on his forearm of a pinup girl.  She has dark hair like me and my tattoo on her arm and she's holding a cupcake (my nickname) in one hand and handcuffs in the other.  She has the big boobs Rambo still wishes I had. 

I got to see my two brothers who I haven't seen in forever during Cmas this year.  I even made it through the whole year without shanking anyone.  I did NOT lose the 15 pounds I planned on losing about 80 times. 

I cemented some friendships and lost others.  I laughed a lot more than I cried.  I felt some types of pain that I never want to feel ever againPhysical and mental.

There are multitudes of things I still need to learn and deal with in 2013...and I will. 

I, of course, talked way too much about sex, poop, puke, vaginas, penises and hives.  And I swore way, way, way too much.

I am more me than I have ever been and the new year promises to be one of great success and joy.

Pieces of me were lost in 2012 - yet here I am - still whole.

I am excited about 2013.  Are you???

16 comments:

LDswims said...

I love you.

What a year! I didn't think it was possible to love you more but this year has certainly taught me even more of how amazing you are. If I had the option of reliving 2012 with no endometriosis or doing it exactly as it turned out, I'd pick this turnout every time, for both of us.

Poochy Ponders said...

I can't wait for 2013. It's the year I'm hitting onederland! Happy New Year!

BEE said...

im excited bout 2013 too

sounds like u had a great year

<3 ur blog and the swearing lol

Karrie said...

My first visit to your blog! I see I have some catching up to do!! Seems as though you've had quite the exciting year!

Kyla @ Mommys Weird said...

This is awesome. I need some more time! Your recaps are almost as good as your posts. Funny bitch.

Fit Mom said...

Love it lady! Thanks for the tip about Sex and Vagina. Hmmm...may have to use that tip at some point in 2013 to spice up my blog. Glad you had a good Christmas. Bring on 2013! I for one am ready to have a clean slate this next year :)

Cat said...

Hi beautiful!! I loved this year in review! Oh - there is no shame in the Coach thing. God I love that store. : )

*hugs and Happy New Year*

Leigh C. said...

A very happy New Year to you and yours. Thanks for all the laughs:) Love your posts and read every one:)

Joanna said...

I just love that I can remember all of those things without having to hit the links to remind myself about them. You've been such a big part of my life for the past couple of years...and I look forward to you being a big part of 2013!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

Jody V said...

This was a truly great post! I wish I could recap my year like this!

Best to you and yours in 2013. It will be a good year in Podunk...i just know it!

Desert Singer said...

You make me smile. I don't particularly like New Years 'stuff' - but you made me smile, and that is good. Will try to be more regular. In the reading of the posts, not in any other way... that would be TMI. ;-) Happy 2013 to you!!

Sam said...

Very eventful year :) looking forward to reading your continual escapades in 2013!!!!!

Barbara said...

And that's why we love you to pieces. Because you keep it real, make us laugh and cry. And touch our hearts. These are all things our family members can't always do for us. Keep being you and here is hoping the magic continues to sprinkle on you in the new year. Hugs B

Angelwithatwist said...

Well now I have to go back and read all those posts you highlighted cause I don't think I even found you till after Summer. Oh btw its still Angelshrout I just had to do an email adjustment so I could get email when I comment. Thanks G+

Carla Birnberg said...

Im trying to be.
for now I shall steal your excitement :-)

Miz.

EmDub @ Faster In Water said...

And now that you had a paragraph with "sex" and "little tip" in the same paragraph, you will get an even creepier set of readers! hahaha

I'm glad 2012 wasso memorable and I'm excited to see where 2013 will take you!