In January, I was taught that swearing was toxic and that farting was to be called "pressuring". Remember that? Jesus balls.
I also decided to go gluten-free for 30 days to see if it would stop my migraines. It didn't work. But to be fair - I now know that I should have done it way longer than 30 days. My bad.
I pissed off about 50% of my followers by confessing that I'm not a fan of twatting or Pinterest. I stand behind my feelings on both of these one year later. I'm stubborn that way.
In February, I wrote a little ditty about what I would do if I were President just because I saw a bunch of other bloggers doing it and I'm a follower - not a leader.
I contemplated about whose bed was the sex bed this month too and it was one of my most viewed posts. I learned that if you put the word "sex" in your title - lots of people read it. Little tip from me to you.
March rolled around and I decided that I hate other people's kids. Again - I stand by that feeling. I'm pretty sure this is never going to change.
Just as the word "sex" will garner you massive amounts of readers - so will the word "vagina" apparently. By far - thee most read post I did in 2012 was the one with the words "vagina botox" in it. Jesus. When people say sex sells, they ain't kidding.
By this time, it was summer. Rambo and I spent a shitload of time on the Harley. We went on a lot of solo rides and lots of rides with our "club". I have the leather hoochie mama vest to prove my "membership". I got a new arm tattoo. We saw lots of fireworks as a family and basically just enjoyed the summer.
I opened up Drazzie's Closet this year too. I've sold lots of things to lots of people
Banana turned 7 this year and Watermelon turned 12. Rambo turned the big 40 and I turned 25
Rambo continued driving semi and was elected Mayor of Podunk this year too! He has almost 15 years in at the prison and I have almost 15 years in at my full time job and continue working 2 part-time jobs for the village we live in. We are buh-izzy but we love it!
Speaking of working for the villages, do you remember the lovely board meeting gone bad that I wrote about? Ugh. The things I do for my community.
All throughout the year - I was named Mother of the Year over and over. I can't help it. I'm just that
Towards the end of the year, I couldn't help myself and got political. It's in my blood. I can't help it.
Rambo finished the year with a new tattoo on his forearm of a pinup girl. She has dark hair like me and my tattoo on her arm and she's holding a cupcake (my nickname) in one hand and handcuffs in the other. She has the big boobs Rambo still wishes I had.
I got to see my two brothers who I haven't seen in forever during Cmas this year. I even made it through the whole year without shanking anyone. I did NOT lose the 15 pounds I planned on losing about 80 times.
I cemented some friendships and lost others. I laughed a lot more than I cried. I felt some types of pain that I never want to feel ever again. Physical and mental.
There are multitudes of things I still need to learn and deal with in 2013...and I will.
I, of course, talked way too much about sex, poop, puke, vaginas, penises and hives. And I swore way, way, way too much.
I am more me than I have ever been and the new year promises to be one of great success and joy.
Pieces of me were lost in 2012 - yet here I am - still whole.
I am excited about 2013. Are you???