Thursday, January 17, 2013

I had broccoli for breakfast. Can we have sex?

Well, well, well…guess whose weigh in day is today? RAMBO’S! Mine is Tuesday and his is Thursday.

The little heifer is down 6 pounds. He’s pretty proud of himself and he should be. Last night he lifted weights with the neighbor and then went back downstairs later to do cardio. I nearly passed out in shock. Two a day?? From my boy? Wowser.

This morning he is doing an armed escort and taking some inmates to other prisons and the hospital so instead of emailing me he’s been texting me inappropriate things all morning.

It always amazes me how Rambo can turn any conversation – like a weigh-in - into a sex proposition.

Let me show you. This was our convo.

How is my baby doll this morning? Wanna know how my weigh in went?


Down 5.5 lbs this week. (he lost .5 the first week).

I’m so proud of you. Holy crap!

I’m proud of you too. You’re going to look so hot on my Harley this summer.

I’ll have to hold your hand constantly so all the girls know you’re mine.

I’ll be too busy kicking all the guy’s asses for looking at you to notice other girls.

Haha! You’re funny.

Can we have sex tonight after I work out?

Wait. What?? Dude – focus. You’re armed with guns, batons and tasers sitting next to a gang member. FOCUS.

That’s not what I really said. I can’t type here what I really said. You’re just gonna have to let your little minds wander.

Moving back to the topic at hand – which if you recall was weight loss and fitness....I have a few questions.

My dear, fellow-tattoo loving friend Mizfit posted recently about how to become a morning worker-outer. God bless her muscle-filled soul but that girl gets up at 4am every day to work out…and I’ve asked her for a good year how she does it. I know Robyn and Cat do morning workouts. Anyone else?

How the hell do you do it without yawning all the way through it? I did it ONE time – and I couldn’t stop yawning AND I could only go in slow motion. I felt like it was worthless because I had no “spunk” that early. Does that go away with time?

Rambo gets up at 4am and my ultimate goal is to get up with him and work out….sigh.

Also, in other equally as boring news – this week when I was pre-prepping my meals, I opened a bag of broccoli in one of those steamed bags…only to find that it wasn’t really broccoli but the stalks with no tops. I counted like 3 tops. The rest was the stalk part. UH-NOY-ING. I was pissed.

Until this morning, when I ate said broccoli stalks and figured out that I like them. I guess now I have to unshank the makers of the broccoli that I promised to shank earlier.

Speaking of – another question. This morning I ate the damn broccoli stalks because I forgot to bring my breakfast….so I did the only smart thing any chick with a raging appetite would do. I ate my lunch so I wouldn’t eat my arm off. Then I got to thinking about all the people that do this on purpose. You know – eat their lunch or biggest meal of the day for breakfast.

I’ve heard it’s best because you’ll burn it off all day rather than eating a large supper and then going to bed. Do any of you do that? I know some people consider their entire diet by the order of the way they eat. Meaning that’s the diet they are on – the one where you eat a large meal for breakfast and they get smaller as the day goes on. How do you feel about that? Ever done it? Believe in it?

Although the stupid broccoli stalks were good – it felt dumb. Like I was worried someone might walk in my office and see me eating chicken, brown rice and broccoli – for breakfast - and I’d have to explain myself like I got caught smoking meth or something. Isn’t that weird?

Apparently it’s a crime to eat broccoli for breakfast in Care Bear Land. However, pizza is totally fine. In case you were wondering.


Fit Mom said...

Yup. I eat my food backwards. Biggest meal of the day first so it has a chance to burn all day (but I think you knew that).

I work out in the evenings because then my husband is home to watch the kids so I can hit the gym.

And yawning is a good thing. I actually yawn all thru my personal training sessions. It is the body's way of getting oxygen to the brain. My trainer likes when I do it. Means I am doing something right...dunno. I just go with what he says.

Frickin' Fabulous at 40 said...

It's the "eat like a king for breakfast, a prince for lunch and a pauper for dinner" diet. I can't do it. I like to eat a big meal EVERY meal! I just try not to eat after dinner which is by 6 pm.

I work out around 9 am, unless I have to work, and then it's in the evening. The gym is open at 5 am, I just don't want to go there at that time!

Connie O said...

I work out in the morning most days, but I don't think I would if I had to get up earlier than 6 to do it. I work a later schedule at my job, 9:30 to 6:30 or so.

I've noticed my husband deftly leading many a random conversation around to sex. It must be a guy thing. ("Deftly" is sarcastic, by the way.)

jennxaz said...

I wish I could workout in the am but I get to work at 5:30 and up at 4. I would rather only take 1 shower a day. I love the broccoli stalks--my fav part!

Ducky said...

I just can not manage to pull myself out of bed at 4am to workout. I did it for years just to get ready for work, but exercise? Uh....hell no.

Kudos to the man!

FitBy40 said...

I used to be at the gym at 5am. on a regular basis, usually about 3-4 times a week. It was for a killer class that I loved and I only lived about 5 minutes from the gym, and there were a ton of people there who I loved to work out with, so it somehow all worked out. I even looked forward to it!
However, since moving to WI, my gym is farther away so I just go when the kids are in school.
There are 2 days a week where I try to get up super early and work out with the hubby before he goes to work and I have to tell ya', I freaking hate it! He reminds me all the time about how I used to love getting up that early and going to work out, and that I actually had to leave the house. I get his point, but it's not the same. I have no motivation to go down to my basement and sweat.
I guess I'm a group fitness person.
And, I try to eat my biggest meal at lunch time, then I just snack or eat a tiny part of the dinner meal with the fam. It's just what works best for me. Everyone's different.

Harmony said...

I have tried so many times to be a morning workout person. Does.not.happen.

Robyn's Nest said...

I like to eat breakfast for lunch (or dinner) does that count?
I work out in the morning because if I were to plan it after work, it would rarely happen. It took some time but my mind and body have adapted and I wake ready to go work out. I just consider it something I have to do, like go to work.

Fat Super Momma said...

I am not a fan of typical breakfast foods and with lap band, they don't go down well. So, I started eating whatever type of healthy food I want for breakfast. Hey, if I'm going to take in calories, it might as well be on something I can half way stand to eat. The other day I had a salad and ham roll ups for breakfast :-) On the working out, I have to do it in the morning or it won't happen. So my problem is getting my a$$ out of bed in time to get it done. I woke up late this morning but made myself get 15 minute in on the elliptical.

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Joanna said...

Being that I just started eating breakfast again 4 days ago, it's still an adjustment. My meals are all about the same size, though. But that tends to happen with strict portion control.. Lol

~Miss Lorie~ said...

HATE MORNING WORKOUTS! HATE! and I'm even a morning person! Ugh.

Faith Bowyer said...

At night I have high hopes for morning workouts, and then the morning comes... and I have zero desire. ZERO.