Thursday, January 3, 2013

Ten Things Thursday!!!

1-My morning started off with my 7 year old yelling “I don’t want to leave you, Mommy” with big, fat tears rolling down her soft, perfect little cheeks. She hasn’t been to school in over two weeks because of the holiday break and I knew it would be like this. Seriously. I wanted to put her in my pocket and never let her out of my sight but the responsible parent in me knows she should learn how to read and do math and shit like that. So I sent her to school.

2-My neighbor and I are working out at 5:30 every night after work and her husband and Rambo are lifting weights while we do our cardio. I’m down to ½ a can of Mountain Dew a day and am staying at or below 1200 calories a day. But really…dudes – don’t be jumping around or screaming for me yet. It’s only January 3rd. Talk to me next week. Mkay?

3-Remember how I told you that a guard got assaulted at the prison on Cmas Eve? Ugh. I knew I didn’t want to hear about the details and I was right. It was a jerkoff in general population – so he was out walking around – and he’s KNOWN for assaulting women guards! She screamed after he pinned her down and shoved his tongue down her throat and other guards came rushing in and saved her from being raped. It lasted 27 seconds. He stabbed her in the face with a pen too. She hasn’t been back to work and I don’t know if she ever will be. I hate that place.

4-As completely lame as it is – I can’t wait to watch the new Biggest Loser now that Jillian is back. I’m such a sucker for reality tv.

5-My work’s Cmas party is this weekend and I think I’m going with a bunch of girlfriends since Rambo has to work. I wouldn’t go at all if not for the big prizes. Last year’s biggest prize was a 7 day trip to Ireland with cash to spend. I don’t even really want that since I don’t fly but I’ll take the TVs or Ipads they give away fo sho.

6-I’m so completely glad that I’ll get a raise this month since payroll taxes went back up and most of it will be negated. Lovely. I hear t the IRS, don’t you?

7-Last night Watermelon asked me when she’s supposed to shave her “girl parts”. Again. I finally said, “Little girls don’t shave down there. Hell – I’ve only been doing it for a few years.” So of course, she says, “Maggie does it.” Well shitballs. Maggie is a whore. I’m sorry. She just is. Or something like that. I told her we’d talk about it during bikini season this summer. I bought myself a couple more months. Crisis averted.

8-You know how everyone hates that Walmart and other stores put Cmas stuff out before Thanksgiving? Well – just call me Walmart. Before New Year’s even got here, I had my Valentines tree and wreath up. I’m sorry. I just can’t take ALL the lights down. Not yet. Maybe not ever. I think I’ll do a St. Patty’s tree and then Easter and then 4th of July and so on.

9-I’m still getting Cmas cards every day from family and friends. It makes me happy knowing that I’m not the only one who is still sending out cards long after Cmas.

10-I wish it was summer. Like every day. The end.


Sarah said...

Happy new year.

Surely Watermelon can't mean what I think she means by girl parts? How does she have any hair to shave at her age? Maggie clearly doesn't have any and is using the shaving story to cover up!

RockBand Barbie said...

I want it to be summer too. I have already been looking at some flip flops online :)

Laura Belle said...

I was going to send out Cmas cards. Then I woke up and remembered I'm a lazy procrastinating heifer and will make the promise I make every year, in that I'll do them NEXT year.

Lordy I suck.

And can I tell you that i probably would have shit a tractor if my little girl asked me that at 12. TWELVE!!! Technically she's still just a babe, right?! RIGHT?!

Please tell me how you get through situations like this so I can fully prepare myself to not die when my time comes.

Kyla @ Mommys Weird said...

#3 is horrific.
But I like #10. You should see the snow here.

MandaPanda said...

OK...Watermelon's question terrified me! What kind of trash is she hanging out with?!?!?!

Cmas party a little late, no?

LDswims said...

1. Heart breaking. Screw responsibility. Can't we just do that? Green is my heart tugging one. So far, with no words yet, it's just a look in his eyes. Ugh.

2. Go you.

3. Ugh. Too much. I wouldn't be able to go back...

4. Enjoy. I have some reality tv I watch but that's not one of em.

5. I'll take a free ipad. Or a free trip to Ireland. Or just free spending money.

6. And don't forget taxes are going up anyway. Gotta pay for obamacare somehow. Given that the payroll tax was never a cut, just a change in how it was collected, should work out to better refunds next year.

7. Are you serious? Shite. At 12 I was just starting to figure out I needed to shave my legs. Holy moly!

8. Makes sense to me. But I want my ornaments, too. And my christmas trees I just made. And and and...I just want Christmas.

9. Ours seem to have stopped. But definitely got more after Christmas than before.

10. I don't. Not with TX heat and humidity. I love our "winter" here. Just cold enough. Been in the 40's the past couple days and it's wonderful. Gorgeous blue skies, no breeze, little puffy clouds. Just cool enough to start a fire in the fireplace but not so cold we're shut down. No ice, no snow. I love it. ' is harder to swim in this weather...

I love you.

twenty kilos to go said...

I am still writing xmas cards as we speak! Did you win anything? OMG! Good luck with the "shaving girly bits" thing!!! lol!

Connie O said...

I've been thinking about making a holiday card. Is it too late? Last year I sent out a "happy new year" one, but it was in the mail by the end of Dec. Maybe I'll make a "Happy February" card.

Harmony said...

Damn. #1 breaks my heart.

Miesha Roshawn said...

I call my cards "holiday cards" so it doesn't really matter when they arrive! And did you really call the 7 year old a whore lmao??!! Officially dead!!

Cat said...

Does Watermelon actually mean the girl parts or does she mean like legs and arm pits and stuff? : ) Poor you having to deal. My dog (son) will never ask stuff like that. And he's neutered. :)

Sam said...

I like the idea of having the tree and lights up for the different holidays throughout the year, why should it be up just for the one month ;)

BEE said...

turbofire is a program
chalene is the teacher

ok its alot like taebo with billy blanks i dont know if you ever heard of that one before either?

its alot of kickboxing and dancing and i cant really explain its different than most chalene just makes you get really pumped up and moving compared to other kickboxing cardio things i have ever done
it 15 dvds there are strength and cardio adn it supposed to help you lose a major amount of weight quickly
if i can stick to it i think it will definatly work

you are right this year we are gonna kick some bootay and do this together encouraging each other every step of the way

october 11 said...

I totally agree with your last two posts! Btw I can't read your blog at work anymore, they block twitter and facebook, did you change something on your site?? Other blogs are fine~!

Chubby McGee said...

Do you find that you watch "The Biggest Loser" for motivation? Or is that just me?

I like watching it because I love those wonderful reminders on there that anything can be accomplished...if you work your ass off for it. :)

I'm keeping that guard in my prayers. I hate that awful people like that exist on this planet. :(

TC30s said...

Happy new year lady!!!

Lori said...

I love to read about you and your daily thoughts and stories, it reminds me that their are others out there just like us normal ordinary folk. Thanks