Thursday, January 3, 2013
Ten Things Thursday!!!
1-My morning started off with my 7 year old yelling “I don’t want to leave you, Mommy” with big, fat tears rolling down her soft, perfect little cheeks. She hasn’t been to school in over two weeks because of the holiday break and I knew it would be like this. Seriously. I wanted to put her in my pocket and never let her out of my sight but the responsible parent in me knows she should learn how to read and do math and shit like that. So I sent her to school.
2-My neighbor and I are working out at 5:30 every night after work and her husband and Rambo are lifting weights while we do our cardio. I’m down to ½ a can of Mountain Dew a day and am staying at or below 1200 calories a day. But really…dudes – don’t be jumping around or screaming for me yet. It’s only January 3rd. Talk to me next week. Mkay?
3-Remember how I told you that a guard got assaulted at the prison on Cmas Eve? Ugh. I knew I didn’t want to hear about the details and I was right. It was a jerkoff in general population – so he was out walking around – and he’s KNOWN for assaulting women guards! She screamed after he pinned her down and shoved his tongue down her throat and other guards came rushing in and saved her from being raped. It lasted 27 seconds. He stabbed her in the face with a pen too. She hasn’t been back to work and I don’t know if she ever will be. I hate that place.
4-As completely lame as it is – I can’t wait to watch the new Biggest Loser now that Jillian is back. I’m such a sucker for reality tv.
5-My work’s Cmas party is this weekend and I think I’m going with a bunch of girlfriends since Rambo has to work. I wouldn’t go at all if not for the big prizes. Last year’s biggest prize was a 7 day trip to Ireland with cash to spend. I don’t even really want that since I don’t fly but I’ll take the TVs or Ipads they give away fo sho.
6-I’m so completely glad that I’ll get a raise this month since payroll taxes went back up and most of it will be negated. Lovely. I hear t the IRS, don’t you?
7-Last night Watermelon asked me when she’s supposed to shave her “girl parts”. Again. I finally said, “Little girls don’t shave down there. Hell – I’ve only been doing it for a few years.” So of course, she says, “Maggie does it.” Well shitballs. Maggie is a whore. I’m sorry. She just is. Or something like that. I told her we’d talk about it during bikini season this summer. I bought myself a couple more months. Crisis averted.
8-You know how everyone hates that Walmart and other stores put Cmas stuff out before Thanksgiving? Well – just call me Walmart. Before New Year’s even got here, I had my Valentines tree and wreath up. I’m sorry. I just can’t take ALL the lights down. Not yet. Maybe not ever. I think I’ll do a St. Patty’s tree and then Easter and then 4th of July and so on.
9-I’m still getting Cmas cards every day from family and friends. It makes me happy knowing that I’m not the only one who is still sending out cards long after Cmas.
10-I wish it was summer. Like every day. The end.
Posted by the gumdrop farting Skittle bathing ♥ Drazil ♥ at 1:14 PM