Thursday, January 10, 2013

Ten Things Thursday!


1 – I used to sit in my Skittle-filled bathtub and pretend that I was a princess and scream out orders to my non-existent servants to get out my pent up stress. No one listened so now I just work out. It seems all around more practical and quieter. That’s right – day 10 of 2013 and I’m still on plan. Can I get an amen, please?

2- Did you know that working out and eating healthy stuff like apples can make pooping happen regularly? This pisses me off. I do not like to make the poopy. Dammit.

3- Why the hell is makeup so expensive? Honest to God – I don’t get it. I’m about ready to start making my own eyeliner using my kid’s crayons. Most of this shit is powder and wax and some color, right? It should be made with gold for what it costs. Or maybe I should buy less. There’s a thought.

4-The flu epidemic scares me. Almost as much as people who wear white socks with black Jesus sandals. In the winter.

5-Have you ever thought a mole was a zit and after you’ve nearly scratched the area completely off your body – you realize it’s a mole and then you live in constant fear that you’ve just given yourself skin cancer? No? Fine. Neither have I.

6 – It is officially time for winter to be over. I will tell you why. Today I spent half the afternoon drawing up our new outdoor area, the bathroom remodel plans and the new garage specs. All of these things cannot take place until it’s at least Spring. Also I bought a new pair of sneakers. First time ever that I’ve bought a pair of Pumas….but they are pink so you know…I had to have them. They will look WAY cuter if I wear them in the Spring. I’m sure of it.

7-Today someone received a shipment of chocolate covered strawberries from a friend. They look like they came straight from the Food Network. I chose a strawberry covered in white chocolate with chocolate drizzle over it. And yes – this IS acceptable on my diet. Did you miss the part about the fact that it’s a strawberry? Full of antioxidants and shit. Kind of like me.

8-Did you feel the Earth shake lately? Things feel a little “odd”? Well – um – that’s because I haven’t had a Mountain Dew in days. Yes – you heard me right. Duh-ays. Some may say I’m taking this getting healthy thing a bit too far and I’d usually agree…except I’ve seen me naked. You’re welcome for that lovely image.

9-I bought Rambo two dog tags for Cmas. One has skulls on it and one has the NFL team on it that he likes. Seriously – I ask you. Is there anything hotter than a man with tattoos lifting weights wearing dog tags? I think not.

10-Last night I was watching a sitcom at 7pm with Banana and a man and a woman were taking each other’s clothes off and breathing heavy. They stopped there but it lasted long enough for Banana to ask me, “Why are they making noise and breathing so heavy, Mom?” I told her they both had just finished running a marathon. Her attention span is too tiny to question my answer so we moved right on her saying, “I think both of my legs are broken because they hurt, Mom.” Thank God for tiny attention spans.

12 comments:

Fit Mom said...

ohhh the new shoes sound cute! And I cant wait for spring either. And good for you for giving up the Dew. LOL.

JRD said...

amen!!!!!

Vanessa said...

AMEN!

Joanna said...

The flu epidemic is horrible in our area right now. This week, I've had 5-7 kids out each day and the other 4th grade teacher has sent 10 kids home since yesterday. And now you've made me want chocolate covered cherries.

Ice Queen said...

The price of makeup is out of control. I don't know what brand liner you use but have you tried Milani Liquif-Eye pencils? Seriously fab. Super soft and creamy, insane pigmentation and apply like a dream. And once those bad boys set, they stay locked in place all day. I have hooded eyes and liner transfer is a huge problem for me. Not with these pencils. They have really decent, tho not huge long wear in the waterline, too.

Oh and they run about seven or eight clams a piece, depending on prices in your area. Just have a really good quality sharpener, a crappy one will destroy them and they are so creamy they need frequent sharpening.

I wish that UD 24/7 liners and Stila Smudge Sticks (both of which I ADORE) were cheaper. *sigh*

~Miss Lorie~ said...

Every girl needs pink Puma's. Should be a law somewhere.

Cat said...

The strawberries, and Rambo in dog tags sound swoon worthy!

FitBy40 said...

OMG, my mom was famous for sticking a needle in anything she deemed didn't belong on the body. Once my brother had what looked like a blood blister between his toes. It was painful and looked full, so she sterilized a needle and poked it. THey couldn't stop the bleeding! Took him to the hospital and come to find out, it was a tumor!
So yeah, I know what you mean. :-)

Kelliann said...

A-MEN...
Strawberries..... yummmmmm

MandaPanda said...

AMEN Sista! The last one cracked me up.

jennxaz said...

I have a couple pairs of pumas...but I can't wear them with my boot cut pants...def need a skinny pant to wear them with..I like how tiny they make my feet look!

Laura Belle said...

I seriously just busted up at the socks and jesus sandals. Seriously. Could not stop laughing!