Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Turd laying and raw dog.

Mom – come here. He laid a turd on my rug!!!!

THAT is the first thing I heard in my house this morning. A little girl’s voice – yelling at the top of her lungs….as she ran into my room. Arms waving, legs kicking and eyes bugging out!
No – I have no idea where she gets such drama.

It was catastrophic. Tragic to say the least.

You’d think the cat dropped a literal nuclear bomb in my kid’s room.

So yah, we have cats. Two. In the way of cats, they are pretty great. They don’t throw up or have hairballs or pee anywhere but in their litter box. Except for today. One little dried up turd on my kid’s rug.

And yah – you know me and poop. Jesus.
No one on God’s green Earth should have to think about, look at or clean up poop before noon.
Like ever.

However, I can admit that this time wasn’t so bad. It was small and dried up and I removed it. No mess. I actually laughed my ass off at Banana’s choice of words….the cat “laid” a turd.
You know – like chickens lay eggs?

Other than that – my exciting over the top life has been pretty boring. Let me clarify that I am not complaining. I love it that way. And since Rambo was putting in an 18 hour day yesterday, I decided that laying on the couch wouldn’t be very nice or productive and the guilt might actually kill me….so I worked out.

I had every excuse not to. The neighbor girl couldn’t come over to work out as usual so I was on my own….which is usually never good. BUT I had the 2nd half of Biggest Loser to watch so I headed downstairs.

It ended up being a night where the workout felt good and easy and refreshing and most of all? Powerful. I did tabata sprint drills up to 6mph. For me that’s like speeding because my legs are pretty short. I was a sweaty mess. I had plans to tan afterwards but I was too hot to think about stepping in that human oven. I was pretty proud of myself when I was done.

I stayed completely on my food plan other than I ended way under my calorie goal (1400) at 1000 calories. I have NO idea why and it certainly wasn’t on purpose. Sometimes I work out so hard that I just lose my appetite and I think that’s what happened last night. Sprints are no joke when 2 weeks ago the only thing I sprinted was the area between the couch and the refrigerator.

I pre-packed lunches, pre-picked out Banana’s outfit, went through her backpack, did the bath thing, tracked my food and workout and cleaned up the house a bit. Still doing the organized, pre-planning thing that I hope to continue throughout the year. EVERYTHING feels better if I do a little each night instead of letting it pile up.

Who knew right?

Oh - get this. Rambo has this weekend off which makes me so excited I could pee my pants…but that’s not my point. Each year the cities we work for put on an appreciation supper for their workers. Rambo and I both get to go since both our PT jobs are for the city. Do you know what they serve there every year? That people eat up like it’s gold on a platter?

RAW DOG

Jesus balls – it’s hard to read that, type that or say that. It sounds soooo terrible and it looks – well – RAW. It’s raw hamburger mixed with onions I think and you put it on a Saltine cracker. I nearly vomit every time I look at it. Have you ever had raw dog? I feel like if I eat raw beef – I’ll end up with worms or have explosive diarrhea at the very least. How can that be safe, I ask you? Eww. Eww. Eww.

So there you have it. Raw dog and cats who lay turds.

No – I will not trade lives with you. Mine is just too damn fabulous to give up. 

I seriously can't believe you even asked.

10 comments:

Frickin' Fabulous at 40 said...

Do they HAVE to call it dog? They should get a lot of shit for that! (Sorry. Too early for that word.)

Butterfly said...

There is a lebanese dish called "raw kiba" and it's one of the best things I have ever eaten. You gotta keep an open mind! It's amazing humans have lasted as long as we have, imagine what they use to eat back in the settler days! :)))

Fit Mom said...

What the heck have you done with the real Drazil? Way to go girl! And ew yuck about dog and cat. LOL. Way ewwww on the dog. Maybe you can bring a dog barker thing with you that goes off when someone comes near it. Bark! Bark!

LDswims said...

Dog sounds horrible. Cat sounds yuck. I do not miss those days but I sure do miss having cats. Then again, I'm up to my ears in changing diapers still. Traded the occasional cat cleanup for the never ending bum wipes. I'd much rather take care of my boys, though, so it seems to be working out just as it should have!

Seriously, though, how can a town get-together involve raw food? Of a type that we always hear should always be at least rare. Ground beef is so much different than filet mignon, though. I can't do even pink ground...ugh. Seems like there should be people protesting that somewhere.

Refreshing that there isn't!

I love you!!

Kelliann said...

Ok, Raw Dag - vomit (sorry)
but besides that - DAMN GIRL, you are on a ROLL!!! AWESOME!!!

Robyn's Nest said...

Wait- is it really dog meat??

Cat said...

What Robyn said...
Oh and I freaking forgot to put that CD in G's car this morning. Damn it. Must remember to do it tomorrow. :)

jennxaz said...

I can't believe you just blogged about poo in about 1/2 your post....lol! and I have no words for that dog dish.....

RockBand Barbie said...

Would not, could not eat Raw Dog. Not in house, not with a mouse. Not on a train, not in the rain. No Raw Dog, not even for my blog :)

Carla Birnberg said...

MY DAD loooooved him some RAW DOG!


Miz