IWTHU. I have shitloads of Harley shirts with skulls on them and these pants are perfect to match them when we go riding! They are BAD-ASS. Never mind that they are 2 sizes too big. I have blinged out Harley belts that can fix that right up.
To all the YouTube women who do hair and makeup tutorials and say, “You can do this too.” Shut up. Um no, I can’t. IWTSU. You have the hair of a Goddess and your face is a flawless canvas. You make me want to shank myself.
To Easter – IWTSU right after I hug you. My God – Easter candy! In my opinion, it kicks Halloween candy’s ass in a basket. Robin eggs – aka those colored nuggets of bliss that are really just Whoppers in disguise? Reeses shaped eggs? Mini Cadbury eggs with the hard shell? Butterfinger eggs? I mean it never ends. The damn pastel colors get me EVERY damn time.
Let’s talk about the dreaded P word that I hate for a teeny sec. The one that rhymes with whoop. There’s a stomach flu going around and the only symptom seems to be “the runs”. What the what? Runs? Who on God’s green Earth said it was okay to tell the people you professionally work with that you have the runs or the squirts??? I can’t wrap my head around this. If I have the runs – I sure as hell want to keep it a secret in the same way a hooker keeps her STDs a secret. I don’t want anyone to imagine me having “the runs”….much less co-workers. Run is a thing I do on the treadmill – not the toilet. To those of you who tell me your toilet issues – IWTSU.
To the weather guy who says that the weather may actually start feeling like spring – IWTHU. It is nearly April and I’m still wearing boots with most of my outfits. Es no bueno. I mean it’s just downright inappropriate. By now I should have gotten my first pedicure and my toes should be showing in every shoe I wear.
The mayoral election is next week and I’d like to say to my nerves and my anxiety about that – IWTSU. Rambo should win but one never knows. I just want it over with. Like yesterday.
To this morning – IWTHU. Rambo didn’t have to go in to work at his usual time this morning. He has to take an inmate to the hospital for surgery all day today so he didn’t have to be to work until 8am. Normally he gets up at 4am and is gone before the girls and I even get up. Today though he got up with us and helped us get ready and kissed and hugged us all goodbye and left the same time we did. I want that every day. My day starts better if I get to talk to and see Rambo first. For the girls too. We can’t get enough of that boy.
To my co-worker who said she could totally tell that I’m losing weight – IWTHU. Wait. No. I want to hump your leg. And buy you flowers. And hump your leg again. Mkay?
How about you guys? Anyone you want to hug or shank??