Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Spring Break Gone Wild for 7 year olds.

This weekend I went to a women’s roller derby game. Wow. Just wow. Those women have balls. I mean not actual balls but balls like “don’t mess with me” kind of balls.

The main thing I learned while watching this game? That I want to be a roller derby girl.

In roller derby it is completely appropriate to dress wildly – like pairing fishnet stockings with neon roller blades and pigtails and tattoos are a requirement.

Tonight our new couches arrive so last night we cleared out the old ones. Our living room is empty except for the TV. In our family that means it’s an air mattress night. We get out the huge air mattress and have a slumber party. Banana thinks it’s like Spring Break Gone Wild for 7 year olds so she begs us to let her sleep on it all night. We let her. That’s what being a kid is about, right?

Rambo and I attended the wake for the Dad of one of my oldest friends. I was soooo nervous. I know her entire family and I just knew I’d never get out of there without doing the ugly, snot dripping, gasping for breath cry. I’m pretty sure even my internal organs were filled with hives…but I did it. I never dropped a single tear and she and her family thanked us for coming. The whole thing left me contemplative for a few hours afterwards.

This weekend is Rambo’s second weekend off which means it’s also the last for another 6 weeks. We plan to make it a good one. And by good one, I mean we’ll be shipping our kids off to the sitter’s house.

We have a birthday party to go to for one of our Harley club members. Prior to that, Rambo and I will cook some dips and take a big, fat, naked nap so we can stay out until the wee hours of the morning and not be tired. That will be followed up by sleeping in until noon.

Seriously. Is that not the definition of bliss to you?

Of course, I’m nervous about the party but I’ll get through it. By get through it I mean that I’ll go buy a completely new outfit for it so I can look and feel smashing. Ha!

I’m so exhausted from the time change. It’s completely reedick. Last night, I contemplated not working out but got on the treadmill anyway. I did 60 minutes and it was one of those nights where it was hard.

The meds I’m on for my high BP and migraines can make me feel very fatigued and winded during exertion. Jesus balls. Isn’t that nice? I mean it’s hard enough to work out without your internal body literally fighting you the whole time.

A few times last night I thought I might hork. << notice I didn’t use the P word. I did less jogging and did more incline work at 12%. Let me tell you – a 12% incline for my short legs is like climbing Mt. Everest. With a donkey on my back. Barefoot. Or something like that.

It wasn’t fun but when I was done – it felt good to have done it. I stared at my quotes and pictures and goal and motivational sayings poster A LOT during my workout. I needed the mental push. I was watching Biggest Loser at the same time and regardless of what you think of the show – try being on a treadmill and watching it. When you see a contestant that weighs over 300 pounds running at the speed of light on a treadmill – you feel pretty lame for walking at a speed of 2.0.

If they can do it, I sure as hell can.

I also may or may not pretend that the trainers are talking directly to me.
Don’t judge. It works.

I guess what I’m trying to say to myself is that I have no valid excuses not to get healthy – even when the excuse is real like a med inside of my body that I can’t control.

I have to “do it anyway” every day.

If it takes pretending that Jillian and Bob are screaming in my ear through the TV…well then…so be it.

I never said I was sane.


FitBy40 said...

So now I feel like a dirt bag for sleeping through my work out time this am!
In my defense, I've not been feeling well, AND have my TOM...but I'm still a big loser!
Great job on being healthy in the new year, and enjoy that alone time with Rambo!

Angelwithatwist said...

shoot I think sleeping on an air mattress is cool NOW lol. We didn't have those when I was a kid. Girl you are doing better than me on a treadmill. I can never get the hang of letting go with my hands. It literally freaks the shit out of me to even think about.. yeah I am weird I know

Sunshine's Heart said...

I have a treadmill that is just sitting there. I COULD get on it but I keep putting off replacing the key. It went missing a few months back and I can't find it.

On My Way to Size 8! said...

I'm still adjusting to the time change too! I feel like it takes me at least a week to get back on track. So strange how one hour does this to us! Btw-you and your husband are the sweetest couple-so nice to see that these days!

FYI-I've been reading your blog for 3 years but finally just started my own. Stop by when you have a chance!


Tina @ The Bandit Girl said...

I save BL for my treadmill, too!!! I don't know what I'm gonna do now that it is coming to a old seasons, I guess.

Sheila said...

Haha...I watch BL on my treadmill also and I sure as heck go a lot HARDER and LONGER when I'm watching BL vs. say watching Parethood. I always have the tissues close by for both tho...

Amanda Kiska said...

You're a stud, ALWAYS!

I have a new blog at

Amanda Kiska said...

I think this is right:

Connie O said...

How are you going to have a big fat nap when you are both getting so slim? ;) Enjoy your fun weekend. It sounds like a great plan.

Glad you got through the wake OK.

Marc said...

My daughter Angel-a-Darkness is on the Helz Belles Roller Derby Team here in town. She doesn't sport a tat that her Pop knows about. Maybe I shouldn't know:/

Joanna said...

I totally see you as a roller derby girl...that would be so awesome!

Frickin' Fabulous at 40 said...

Is "cook some dips" literal or slang for doing the hibbity-dibbity?

Fit Mom said...

Whatever works!! I love pretending Jillian is yelling at me. Then again...I have a girl crush on her.

And can you rollerskate/blade? You would make an awesome roller derby girl! Dangerous Draz. Yeah!

Didi said...

Roller Derby girls are amazing. They are such bad asses. I would aspire to be one myself if I had any knack or skill on rollerskates or roller blades. I fall about every five minutes on roller skates. I don't fall on roller blades, but I'm still pretty uncoordinated. I'd be better off with a segway derby. Maybe I should invent that.
It's cool that you all slept on air mattresses. What kid wouldn't think that was like a vacation?