It’s time for WTF Wednesday.
Let’s do this thing!
WhyTF didn’t any of you tell me that there were things in the PT jobs that I could not handle and therefore, I should just stay in my hermit corner and hide out there instead of pushing through and becoming a better person? (holy run on sentence Batman)
Seriously – those of you in HR…I bow down to you.
Holy chicken turds – this shit is hard for an emotional basketcase like myself. Rambo grew a huge pair of balls and fired someone so therefore, I’m in charge of finding a replacement. Well, I’m not really in charge.
Let’s just say if I want it done right
I mean – this is people’s lives and hopes and dreams and I’m singlehandedly crushing them. I want to call them and say, “You’re so great – please don’t cry. I’m so sorry. It’s not you – it’s me.” Seriously – if I had to look them in the eyes to tell them what the Board decided – I couldn’t do it.
WhenTF is summer going to get here? Wanna hear Reason #52 billion why I hate winter? My kids are ACTIVE. They don’t sit and play video games. They are runners and jumpers and outside kids. So in the winter they go nutso. They wrestle and get loud and drive me insane. I told them last night to stop it and to separate. Watermelon walked away and she said, “Thanks Mom – for ruining my childhood.” Wowsah. Just shove a pitchfork through my heart why don’t you? Kids suck.
WhoTheHolyF*ck runs the Little Debbie plant? I want to shank the heifer who decided that just because it’s Easter – they should now make tulips and butterflies and brownies shaped like eggs. I don’t even like brownies – until the asshole Little Debbie colors the top all pretty colors and makes them look like eggs. Behind the cute little façade of Little Debbie lies a Huge Asshat.
Yesterday we got a shit ton of snow. My mother called and no shit – said to me, “Is your gas line uncovered so that the carbon monoxide can escape and you don’t die? Is there snow covering it?” WhatTF? Um…helllloooo…it’s March. Just in case you missed it – the snow began back in November. FYI – this ain’t our first blizzard. Thank you for making me a paranoid freak, Mom. I asked Rambo about our pipe and he looked at me like I was talking with my ass.
You guys would be so proud of me. I got a new Tahoe, right? Well new to me…it’s a 2011. Okay so – I drove it for a week and then one day tried to use the back windshield wiper. It didn’t work. The mother effing whole unit thingy was dangling – just hanging there. Hell to the NO! Dude – I owned this sucker for a week. WTF? I emailed my sales guy and told him to come get it and fix it – like yesterday. He did. I still can’t believe I didn’t make Rambo call them.
WhoTF wants to see my new Michael Kors purse? I know you do!! Here it is. OhmuhGod. I effing love it. You should see how all my shit stays organized in this thing. To. Die. For. Now I’m working on selling my left kidney so I can get a Michael Kors watch. I found a knockoff for $10. That may have to do. In Hicksville, Podunk USA – no one even knows who Michael Kors is so it’ll be fine. In fact, now that I think about it – I should have bought a knockoff purse and saved a lot of dough. Shitballs.