Wednesday, March 6, 2013

WTF Wednesday!

It’s time for WTF Wednesday.
Let’s do this thing!

WhyTF didn’t any of you tell me that there were things in the PT jobs that I could not handle and therefore, I should just stay in my hermit corner and hide out there instead of pushing through and becoming a better person? (holy run on sentence Batman)

Seriously – those of you in HR…I bow down to you.

Holy chicken turds – this shit is hard for an emotional basketcase like myself. Rambo grew a huge pair of balls and fired someone so therefore, I’m in charge of finding a replacement. Well, I’m not really in charge.

Let’s just say if I want it done right my way – I have to find someone myself. From putting out the ad, receiving resumes, making interview packets, interviewing, deciding and then the worst part of all – sending rejection letters. I can barely lick the stamp…which is why I decided instead to pretend I’m Rambo by using his personal email to reject them instead.

I mean – this is people’s lives and hopes and dreams and I’m singlehandedly crushing them. I want to call them and say, “You’re so great – please don’t cry. I’m so sorry. It’s not you – it’s me.” Seriously – if I had to look them in the eyes to tell them what the Board decided – I couldn’t do it.

WhenTF is summer going to get here? Wanna hear Reason #52 billion why I hate winter? My kids are ACTIVE. They don’t sit and play video games. They are runners and jumpers and outside kids. So in the winter they go nutso. They wrestle and get loud and drive me insane. I told them last night to stop it and to separate. Watermelon walked away and she said, “Thanks Mom – for ruining my childhood.” Wowsah. Just shove a pitchfork through my heart why don’t you? Kids suck.

WhoTheHolyF*ck runs the Little Debbie plant? I want to shank the heifer who decided that just because it’s Easter – they should now make tulips and butterflies and brownies shaped like eggs. I don’t even like brownies – until the asshole Little Debbie colors the top all pretty colors and makes them look like eggs. Behind the cute little façade of Little Debbie lies a Huge Asshat.

Yesterday we got a shit ton of snow. My mother called and no shit – said to me, “Is your gas line uncovered so that the carbon monoxide can escape and you don’t die? Is there snow covering it?” WhatTF? Um…helllloooo…it’s March. Just in case you missed it – the snow began back in November. FYI – this ain’t our first blizzard. Thank you for making me a paranoid freak, Mom. I asked Rambo about our pipe and he looked at me like I was talking with my ass.

You guys would be so proud of me. I got a new Tahoe, right? Well new to me…it’s a 2011. Okay so – I drove it for a week and then one day tried to use the back windshield wiper. It didn’t work. The mother effing whole unit thingy was dangling – just hanging there. Hell to the NO! Dude – I owned this sucker for a week. WTF? I emailed my sales guy and told him to come get it and fix it – like yesterday. He did. I still can’t believe I didn’t make Rambo call them.

WhoTF wants to see my new Michael Kors purse? I know you do!! Here it is. OhmuhGod. I effing love it. You should see how all my shit stays organized in this thing. To. Die. For. Now I’m working on selling my left kidney so I can get a Michael Kors watch. I found a knockoff for $10. That may have to do. In Hicksville, Podunk USA – no one even knows who Michael Kors is so it’ll be fine. In fact, now that I think about it – I should have bought a knockoff purse and saved a lot of dough. Shitballs.


Fit Mom said...

Can the position you are trying to fill work from home? If so, hire me. You know I can put up with your bull$hit. LOL

And you wont get hives from me either. HAHAHA

Sarah Kopf said...

And who in the name of Christ decided that Cadbury eggs were a GOOD thing?! I've eaten my body weight in them already---and the bunny isn't even in the frickin' suit yet! Jesus!

As for the gas line, that's hilarious. My dad asks me that all the time and tells me to "breathe on it" if it's iced over. Ummm... Hey, Stabby, I'm pretty sure you're NOT supposed to breathe that stuff in! ....Yutz. Same guy that likes that "paint" smell. Weirdo.

As for WTF Wednesday, you're in for a treat when you visit my page... You're welcome. I love you too. LOL! (Check your email.)


Tina @ The Bandit Girl said...

Oh no, my dear...that purse is heaven in a handbag! Enjoy!

Frickin' Fabulous at 40 said...

I can NOT do a white pocket book. One little smudge and it will be ruined for me!

FitBy40 said...

OK, now I need to know where my gas line is. Seriously, who thinks of this crap!?
We didn't get as much here as predicted but I still had to get out there with the snow blower early this morning so my kids could get to the bus. This is definitely one of those husband duties, but said husband is out of the country, so I had to man up!
I don't care about Little Debbie's much, but I'm pretty sure that Cadbury Mini Eggs were created by satan himself for us fatties. For real.

LDswims said...

Nobody told you that you can't handle it because you CAN handle it. You do. It's what you do. And much as you think you want to be in your hermit corner hiding out, that's not you. Not these days, anyway.

I love being involved in the interview process. I volunteer with my company's recruiters every chance I can. It's so awesome when I make a recommendation to hire someone and they do and it all works out well. And it apparently works out well because the recruiters always specifically ask me to come along and help with interviews. That's one aspect of HR I would love to do - enough so it periodically makes me think that's what I want to move into after I get past my project I have to complete to get my next promotion.

It's your job as a mom to ruin childhood. Didn't you get that memo? You're not doing your job well if you don't hear those comments at least once a month.

hehehe. Remind me of that when the boys start telling me they hate me. Cause it will happen. Karma's a bitch!

LHF is addicted to those Little Debbie things, too. And I hate the marketing cause then he feels like he REALLY has to buy this stuff cause it won't be there next month. No, they don't have the basic ones always available. I know they don't cause LHF buys empty boxes of them all the time. That's all I ever see, anyway, is empty boxes. He assures me they come that way...

So proud of you for handling that Tahoe issue.

Beutiful purse. Beee. youuuu. tea. full. I need more purses. Can you believe after spending about an hour in a Coach store last weekend I put down the wristlet, handbag, and backpack LHF told me I could get. I said I "was getting stuff just to get stuff and that wasn't a good reason". Truth is, I'm still madly in love with the wristlet I am currently using which matches our diaper bag. Almost a year later and I'm still in love. That's never happened before.


On My Way to Size 8! said...

omg. i totally agree about the little debbie snacks! they just look so delish with those pastel colors. i am not even a fan of her snacks but the easter ones call my name every year.

Jewlz280 said...

I don't give a $hit about the the Little Debbie's or the eggs.... I'm too busy drooling over your purse! OHMYGERD! Love me some Michael Kors! If you decide to sell anymore of your stuff, I guess I should jump faster -- I had really wanted the white Coach bag that you had. *sigh*

Cat said...

Little Debbie and the Reese's dude can both go to hell. /nod

That purse is soooooo purdy. I love love it. Thank you for the pic!! :)

So proud of you making the Tahoe guy fix the wiper. Go you!!

RockBand Barbie said...

Little Debbie should be called Little Devil. At Christmas I want those Chrsitmas tree cakes. Just when they stop selling those then they have the heart cakes that I just HAVE to have. I had a friend who was in management at the Little Debbie plant. They could have anything they wanted right off the line. She said the brownies and and the honey buns were amazing when they were still warm fresh off the line.

Joanna said...

I live 6 miles from a Little Debbie plant. During the summer, I can actually smell the brownies being cooked when I walk out of my house. When I lived a mile from the plant (8 years ago), I woke up every morning to the smell of freshly cooked Honey Buns and Brownies.

It's Little Debbie's fault I'm overweight... I just realized that!

jennxaz said...

Love the SUPER love it..I want jealous!