Wednesday, April 10, 2013

WTF Wednesday. Sort of.

Mucho randomness-o here today.

-A few days ago, I had on mint green yoga-ish pants with a matching mint green hoodie. The color of this outfit just makes you want to smile. It’s like minty-tealy-green-y-blue-y all mixed into one and you just want to reach out and touch it. Or me - when I’m wearing it.

Every single time I wear it – someone tells me they love the color or outfit. I mean really – how many outfits does a person wear that beyond a doubt every single time someone says something good about it? Not many. It’s a keeper fo sho. And for realz – this is basically a sweatpants outfit.

Anywhoozle, I wore it to work and a few people said they liked it (even though I’ve worn it a million times there before) and that was fine and dandy. However, later in the grocery store – I turned around to a cute little old woman standing right in front of me and she grabbed my arm and said, “That is a nice outfit. That’s how we want you to look.” Um – WTF? I don’t understand who “we” is and exactly how does this “we” want me to look? I’m so confused. What an odd compliment, huh?

I’m serious. The color of the outfit just draws people in and then they say weird things.

And yes – I just wrote an entire paragraph about a sweatpants outfit. My life is just that fun.

-Today on the radio show I listen to, they were discussing shapes that women shave their woohoo hair into and the names for those. I’m astounded at the creativity of some women and frankly – more astounded by the time they have to make shapes out of their pubic hair. I mean – don’t these people have kids or something who bang on the bathroom door every time they go in there? Oh wait - that’s just me.

I mean they were talking stripes and boxes and even someone who did theirs in the shape of cell phone tower reception levels. You know the bars that go from high to low. WhatTheholyF*ck!

Oh and the new thing – in case you were wondering – is a vagacial. That’s a vagina facial people. A facial for your vagina. Wow. I get it – all this attention to the nether regions can be fun. In fact, the boys on the show said to the girls “we like it when you surprise us down there and keep it new and fun”. Um. I am puzzled by that statement as well.

How can down there be a surprise for anyone you’re in an actual relationship with? Rambo sees me naked every damn day. Multiple times. I couldn’t hide that that thing from him if I tried much less have the time to grow an entirely new shape for him.

- I missed the update yesterday on my weigh-in day. Fear not – it is not because something went wrong. On the contrary – I lost another ½ lb so I’m down 14.5 lbs total since 1/1. I’ve been doing yard work and landscaping as workouts and can I just say that yours truly is a wussy with a capital W? My God – I had to use hand rails in the bathroom to lower my ass onto the toilet because I was so sore from yard work. My actual butt cheeks hurt. I think even my eyebrows were sore. I shit you not.

-I bought pink leopard license plate holders for my Tahoe. And I may or may not have bought a shiny chrome W hitch cover (for Wisconsin Badgers) to go with it. Pink leopard and chrome can never be wrong.

-I caught Rambo on his computer two nights ago researching and *almost* buying me tickets to go see Pink in concert. I say almost because I caught him and told him NO WAY. I’d rather have purses or shoes for the price of her tickets BUT with that being said – I told him to keep watching for shows closer to Podunk and we’d go. That boy is kinda nice. He knows I love Pink – the color and the singer – and he was going to surprise me. Awwww.

-The 7 year old, Banana, wants her room re-done and re-painted and such. Apparently she’s now old enough to care about that stuff. Dammit. We have decided to paint 3 walls bright pink and one wall yellow and the theme? You guessed it. HELLO KITTY. I’m going to go on the website Fathead and buy a big ‘ol Hello Kitty for her wall. And then I’m going to convince her that it should be my room after that.

Mkay – I’m done now. I gotta stop or I won’t have 10 Things for Thursday!


Laura Runs a Latte said...

Vagacial - Lol!

jennxaz said...

Rambo is just the sweetest!...and vagacial....that is just too much...I can just imagine wrapping hot towels on it!

Sarah Kopf said...

Did we just talk about vagina for ten minutes? Yes. Yes we did. And that's why Wednesdays are AWESOME! Lol Vagacial? Frickin' seriously?!

And that old lady probably meant YOUNG people like you. Because she's ancient. Makes sense. Somebody told me I had nice eyelashes recently and also asked why I had "As" on the back pockets of my jeans. (If you're staring at my ass, clearly A is for awesome, no?! Anywho... I get the weirdness.)

You told him no?! To Pink tickets!? I am totally WifeSwapping this shizzle! Right now!


FitBy40 said...

My hubby told me no to The Eagles at summer fest too. Too expensive, and all he can think about is how we'll have 2 kids in college at the same time and how expensive that will be. Mind you they're in kindergarten and first grade!
I'm going to ignore all that vagina talk for now, OK?

Strong_Focus said...

Oh honey, let him buy you the ticket! She is SO great in concert. Worth sacrificing a pair of shoes for, for sure!

And my vagina is just fine thanks. No vagicial for this lady business!

Robyn's Nest said...

I think I need to see a picture of this green-minty sweatsuit~!

Angelwithatwist said...

A vagina facial?? Umm yeah think I will pass.. ha on the old lady. One day we will be that old and able to tell young'uns like ourselves the same thing.

Didi said...

I knew people were in to bush gardening (tee hee hee) but I wasn't aware that there were fancy names for the different styles. I've tried to be creative with the crotch region grooming, but it really doesn't matter what you do to that area. A guy who is after a woman just because she has his favorite sports team shaved onto her vagina probably isn't worth hanging around. And I've never heard a man say that he wanted the sight of my vagina to surprise him. "Surprise" in my opinion, shouldn't be linked with my vagina at all. Seriously. Surprise! I vajazzled your name on my crotch! So romantic and sexy?