Thursday, July 18, 2013

Ten Things Thursday!!

1-I am writing this blog post on my daughter's laptop.  This is the first time that I have ever blogged from a laptop since I started this blog years ago.  Isn't that cray cray?  It feels veeerrrrryyy weird.

2-Last night I spent hours searching online for an old Volkwagon Beetle (aka slug bug).  I want one in my landscaping so I can open the hood and plant tons of colorful flowers in it and then I'll paint flowers on the doors and stuff.  I get stupid ideas like this often.  Don't judge.

3-I love hot weather, however, it's over 100 here and so hot that none of us have gone swimming because it's like taking a hot bath.  The water is the temperature of Satan's mouth and therefore, is not refreshing.  It makes you feel like a human egg.  Boiling.  It's poopy woopy.

4-I would love to be out running in this heat because that's my favorite time to run but I'm a f*cking idiot and have a new tattoo that has swelled up my ankle and foot and at times, it's hard to walk.  Can you say moron? 

5-My friend decided to quit smoking this week so the night before she quit I gave her a big "Good Luck Quitting" basket.  I put 4 bags of hard candies in it plus straws (to chew on), toothpicks, crossword puzzles, tons of gum, a cool new water cup, rubberbands (to snap her wrist when she gets a craving) and stress balls and fresh flowers.  Banana and I also made her a card for each day that she is smoke-free so she can open one each day.  The cards said stuff like "YAY - you won't have to stand out in the cold this winter!!!"  She loved it and she is currently on Day 2 and her husband is on Day 4!!!

6-I bought another Michael Kors purse and decided again that it was too small which is fine because my co-worker bought it from me.  This means that I spent at least 1/2 of my day shopping for my next trial purse.  My eyes hurt from the shopping - but I shall not give up.  Do not worry.

7-After I spent hours looking for a slug bug online I spent a few more searching for old antique farm equipment like a corn planter for my landscaping since I couldn't find a slug bug.  Isn't my life exciting?  Try not to be jealous, mkay?

8-Right now as we speak Rambo is driving to get me a dish of black raspberry ice cream.  There's a little place in town that serves it and OMG - it's like an orgasm in a dish.  I sorta kinda can't get enough of it.  Oopsie.

9-Watermelon is having a pool party slash trampoline jumping party slash campfire slash Just Dance party tomorrow night.  Cue the Xanax and vodka.  Whenever there are more than two 13 year olds in a room - anything can happen.  It's way easier to deal with that "anything" if you're high AND drunk.  Duh.

10-I have to attend a family picnic on Saturday.  I'd rather light myself on fire.  Twice.  Maybe even 3 times.  God help me. 


Chris P said...

So did you find a new purse?!?! What kind of tattoo?!?! I had my wrists tattooed last week :) Good luck with the party tomorrow. Sounds like fun though! I've been looking for a black 67 Chevy Impala with tan interior (nothing specific) :) Good luck at the picnic! Stay Cray!! You rock!

Cat said...

Haha, you drinking is amusing. : )

Sorry the pool isn't refreshing. I love the idea of the VW Beetle in your landscaping. So fun!

RockBand Barbie said...

Love that basket idea you did for your friend :) I thought about you when I went in a Michael Kors outlet while on vacation :)

Kelly said...

Ice cubes in pool?

MandaPanda said...

You are so sweet to make a basket like that for your friend. You are awesome sauce! I love the bug idea!

peacelovepixie said...

The VW Bug would be adorable as part of the landscape. I love the old convertible bugs, I'm itching to buy one and have it painted hot pink.

twenty kilos to go said...

OMG! I seriously have 6 love bugs in my back yard! I have no idea what Mr M plans to do with them but they are so cute! Pity we aren't closer : )