1-Guess what today is, my little Skittles? It is DAY 6….OF NO MIGRAINES! Holy shit in a bucket with a cherry on top. Probably even whip cream and peanuts too. Can the Botox really be working? OMG – I can’t even think about it too much without wanting to do the ugly cry…but I shall control myself.2-I’m going to a Norwex party tomorrow night. It’s the latest, greatest home sales business I guess. Cleaning supplies that rock your world or so I’ve heard. Ever heard of them?
3-We took the girls school supply shopping and I learned two things. One is that I’d rather have lunch with Satan AND have to pay for it than school supply shop. And two…it is nearly impossible to be around that many adorable Hello Kitty folders and notebooks and pens without buying some for myself. I’m sure it didn’t help that we took two extra kids with us on our excursion but my God – I wanted to shank every person within eye range before we were done.4-Watermelon starts volleyball soon. I’m a huge supporter of school sports but for just one moment I’d like to complain and say that she has practice or a game EVERY SINGLE week night. Jesus balls. That’s a lot. Might make the whole “Andy Griffith says you should have a family supper every night” thing a little tough to pull off. Especially since all my fave TV shows will be coming back on soon too. Duh.
5-Our school now has cameras in every crevice of the building and the doors are locked down every day too. No more walking in to pick up or drop off your kid. Welcome to 2013 and the age of needing to go to extremes to keep your kids safe. Sad, but necessary…as we’ve all seen.6-Did I tell you that I found the motorcycle that I want? OMG. It’s my all time favorite color (mint green/teal-ish) with black and crème accents AND???? A side car for my little Banana to ride with me. Too bad it’s in Massachusetts. Womp womp. Rambo says he’ll go and get it if I go get my license like yesterday. He’s a poopyhead.
7-Speaking of the poopyhead. He had Tuesday off and he texted me and said, “I’m sitting on the swing on the deck enjoying the sunshine and I miss you. I’m wishing you were here with me.” That was 10am. And it was evil. Who says that when the other person is working??? So I left work and took the rest of the day off. Life is short. I’ll never regret spontaneous days off like that. Not ever.8-I got a new tattoo not even 2 months ago and my mind is wandering in the direction of “what should I get next?” already. Shitballs. I must stop. We take turns and it’s Rambo’s turn next. I have sworn that I am not getting ANY new tattoos until the ones I have are exactly how I want them. Like I want more detail added to one and ivy/vines adding to another, etc.
9-When we took Watermelon and her friend school shopping – they both wanted to buy shorts to wear to vball practice. Ok fine. Mind you – they are both currently wearing jean shorts rolled up to their vaginas and butt cheeks…short enough that Rambo commented and said, “those are getting burned when we get home.”
However, we shop for athletic shorts and I kid you not – my skinny little girl and her skinny little friend go to the MEN’S section and buy medium MEN’S shorts soley because if they buy that size then the shorts are nearly to their ankles. Anything shorter than that is unacceptable. Wait. What? You’re currently wearing Daisy Dukes and we are currently shopping for shorts that could pass as capris. JESUS. Shoot me now. In the foot. With an AK-47. Shanking would not be painful enough.10-Our neighbor who is only 24 was complaining to Rambo about how tired he was because he had to work 2 hours of overtime. I think Rambo nearly put him in a headlock. Prior to this last day off Rambo came off a stretch of working 42 days straight – many of which were 12 to 16 hour days with very little sleep. Complaining about two hours of OT when you’re 24 doesn’t really go over too well with Rambo.
By the way – neither does wanting to see his wife’s tatas. A couple guys Rambo works with have been joking about my boobs amidst a dumb guy conversation (they were drunk) but now days later they keep bringing it up. Rambo told me last night he’s had enough. He said he’s going to tell each of them no more talking about his wife’s boobs. Period. I guess it’s nice to know he can still get jealous after 23 years, however, I flashed back to high school when Rambo beat a guy silly for something he said to me. Yuck. Ah, men. Then again – I get it. I’d feel the same way if the tables were turned, you know?
Have a good day, gumdrops!