Tuesday, September 10, 2013

I gave birth to Patty Simcox.

Remember Patty Simcox? 
Here – let me show you a picture. 
She was the crazy giddy over the top cheerleader who decorated for the dance using toilet paper.
She’s the girl we all wanted to punch be like.
Well…this mama right here wants to kiss Patty Simcox. 
And maybe even hump her leg.
Here's why.  I’ve said before that my 7 year old Banana is no fan of school. 
Seriously.  It’s sort of a nightmare. 
School, rules and homework do NOT coincide with my child’s free spirit in any way. 
Last night as I laid in bed I wondered how the morning would go.  They’ve been going pretty smoothly.  I leave before my kids go to school so they have to set their own alarms, get dressed, eat breakfast and lock up the house and get down the driveway at the right time every morning – on their own.  They are 12 and 7 mind you so some days I wonder if it’s possible but so far so good.
However, to make super sure that Banana doesn’t turn into the Spawn of Satan and refuse to go to school – I somehow thought of Patty Simcox last night because Banana is OBSESSED with the movie Grease lately.  She has a tiny portable DVD player and she puts that movie in and shoves that DVD player right up next to her face and falls asleep listening to Grease Lightening. 
She runs around the house with a Twinkie singing “brusha-brusha-brusha” for hours.

Remember the scene in the diner when Kenicki takes a big bite of a burger and talks with his mouth full and open?  She does that too.  Shoves food in her mouth and talks….like Kenicki. 
Yah.  It’s precious.

This morning I called Banana into my room as I was finishing getting ready and told her if she got up now I’d do her hair like Patty Simcox in Grease. 
Jesus, Joseph and Mary – you should have seen her eyes light up.  She ran her ass to her room and put on a Patty Simcox twirly dress and away we went.
Banana has hair almost down to her butt so I put her hair in a high ponytail and curled her bangs and “voila” – it’s a mini Patty Simcox.  No – Patty didn’t have bangs.  Sue me. 
The little details do not matter.
I made her effing day people.  She ran into her big sister’s room and I heard her say, “Hey – you have a sister named Patty Simcox today!” and ran back out.
Ah yes…feel free to call me brilliant.  It’s completely okay. 
Never mind that I let my kid watch a movie to fall asleep.  Never mind that said movie is about an inch away from her eyeballs and is probably ruining her sight with every second that ticks by.  Never mind that I have to play upon my child’s love of a movie to get her to go to school like a normal child. 
Just never mind.
I’m a f*cking genius. 
If she asks me to cut off all her hair tonight so she can look like Rizzo tomorrow – I’m screwed.
If she asks me to dye her hair pink tonight so she can look like Frenchie – I’m double screwed.
Then again – maybe my biggest worry should be if she wants to look like naughty Sandy. 
OMG – I’m so super screwed.
Shitballs.  What have I done?


Beth Ann said...

Grease rules.

Rachel said...

HA! Great job genius!

Justawallflower said...

Line one you said " remember Patty Simcox" and my brain filled in "from Rydel High, hi" in Rizzo's voice. And yes, I can play that whole movie in my head word for word. I even remember asking my mom what a rep was (as in "I have a rep to protect").

Vanessa said...

Thats awesome!!!!

Cat said...

Love this post.
Mostly because A) You're a genius and 2) Robyn and I and 3 other chicks are dressing up like Pink Ladies for Halloween as our group costume this year. Robyn is Frenchie. I'm Marty! "Oh double doo-doo"
"What's up doc?"
"One of my diamonds fell in the macaroni!"

Laura Belle said...

OK, did you know that I was obsessed with Grease when I was a kid. Curtesy of my mother. Lover of all musicals. And I even cut my shirt to be off the shoulder and wore black spandex pants one time to be like the naughty Sandy. Christ on a stick. My mom lost it. Like laughing so hard she almost fainted.

Oh, and I know this is already long, but you know when i used to say that I hope to be as cool a mom like you? Well, I still hope that, but it has a totally different meaning when I actually have a human that i am a mother to. It's hard to explain. But I bet you get it. ;-)