Thursday, December 12, 2013

Ten Things Thursday!

1-Does anyone else think it’s weird that boys have entire conversations while they pee considering that they are HOLDING their “unit”?  Let me explain.  I walked by the men’s bathroom at work and heard multiple – as in at least 5 people – talking, carrying on and laughing.  WHILE they peed.  As I walked by I thought how odd that must be.  I mean can you imagine holding onto your vagina with your bare hand while you talk to a co-worker who probably isn’t even someone you are friends with?  It’s freaking weird.  Like let’s go back to work together after I saw your dick and pretend that it wasn’t awkward.  Yes – I realize they probably don’t look – but still.  It’s weird.  We women converse while we pee but our vagina isn’t hanging out in the air – least of all held on to by our own hands.

2-People who suck at their jobs have it made.  No one gives them more work because they can’t handle it.  No one gives them confidential info because no one trusts them with it.  No one asks them questions because no one thinks they’ll have answers.  No one cares where they are or what they are doing because no one thinks their time or talent is worth missing or worth anything for that matter.  For 8 hours a day – they get left alone – and the bare minimum is expected of them.  Smartest people in the world.  I mean yes – you have to have no internal pride but still.  I suppose it’s a compliment to be given tons more responsibility and work…but I’m just saying that I’d like to give more to the lazy sucktastic f*cker down the hall who hasn’t taken on anything new since 1985.
3-Tomorrow is family movie night.  Red 2 and Despicable Me 2 are on the agenda.  Mounds of blankets and pillows on the living floor and enough junk food to kill a small buffalo.  I cannot wait.

4-Tomorrow I’m going to wear my sequined Cmas shirt from Old Navy to work.  It is a white t-shirt and on the front in seqins are the words HO HO HO on top of each other.  Red and green obnoxious sequins.  I’m going to pair it with Cmas socks.  Sometimes I like to pretend I’m 3 and don’t have a mortgage.  It’s fun.
5-The thought of wrapping all my girl’s Cmas gifts makes me want to barf.  Twice.  I no likey the wrapping portion of Cmas. 

6-Last night I had Doritoes and Pepsi for supper.  My kids had Hot Pockets.  Mother of the Year right here,  folks.  Don’t even try to beat me.  Tonight is Ramen noodles.  So BAM!
7-I am obsessed with boot socks.  Socks long enough that you can cuff them over your boots.  They make my 8 billion pairs of boots feel like new boots. 

8-Both my girls are remodeling their bedrooms in a few months and I would just like to go on record as saying I hate painting and there are too many bed/furniture choices out there for kids.  I feel like I do nothing but draw layouts all day.  Search for beds.  Search for dresses and desks.  Take them home and get my girl’s opinions, rinse and repeat.  
9-Merry Christmas.

10-Happy New Year!


Angelwithatwist said...

Well I think a movie night sounds great. I hear ya on the job thing. That is how they did my husband. Want him to do the job of the team leader without the pay because they need him to desperately to do the loading job as well.. they are dying right now with him off because of the car wreck. Gonna die even more when he tells them he can never go back to loading trucks..

Jewlz280 said...

1) Must find obnoxious Christmas socks and shirt. Because you are now my idol and I want to be you when I grow up. 2) I was wondering about those boot sock things. Pick please? 3) Movies and junk food.... YESSSS! 4) Lazy a-holes also don't get Coach bags. 5) Ramen. YUM 6) IKEA. Again and again and again. I-freakin-KEA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Merry Christmas! :D

Loving Life by Leesa said...

You freaking rock! This list has to be my favorite post of the year! =)

Merry Christmas!

MandaPanda said...

#2 - YES!!! Ugh!
Maybe you can think of room furniture shopping as "accessorizing your kids' rooms." That make you feel better?

Laura Belle said...

I wanna see Red 2. I heard it's awesome!

You know you can make boot cuff thingy's out of old sweater sleeves??? That's like life changing.
Not that I've had time to do that or anything.

And the boy peeing/talking thing....I was just thinking about that the other day. Every movie you see that has a male potty scene, they talk to each other at the urinal! WTF?!

Cat said...

I sincerely dislike wrapping presents. My husband wants to put everything in plastic grocery store bags Hahaha. He said WTF? We have to spend tons of time wrapping things that people don't really want anyway with paper they are going to rip off and immediately throw in the trash? No thank you. :)

FitBy40 said...

I actually enjoy wrapping but I'm pretty sure it's because I shop all year long and hide things all over the house. When it's finally time to sit down and wrap, I'm usually surprised about what I have!

I'm at work reading this post and cracked up out loud at the 'holding your vagina' comment!

Maren said...

Merry Christmas to you too!

This post was fantastic :D