Wednesday, January 15, 2014

Raises, pens and a Prius.

Ever heard of someone getting a 50% raise?  Um – yah – usually not.  Because that’s insane and stupid and would put most companies out of business and shit like that, right?  Right. 

Except for when you’re me and someone asks you for your latest invoice so they can pay you for your work and off the cuff and faster than you think you decide to up your rate by 50% and hit SEND on the email just for the shits and giggles of it and to see who freaks out and calls you a greedy whore first. 
Until no one does. 

They paid it.  Not a single question asked.  I mean I didn’t just randomly decide to do this.  I thought about my fees and my workload for the PT job and honestly – I thought about how Rambo does his PT jobs for next to nothing and the time sacrifices we make and I thought – “You know – I should be charging more.”  I was all ready with reasons to defend the raise if anyone noticed.
Until no one did. 

I think I sort of wanted someone to ask me why.  Or maybe not.  It’s just weird.  Fun – but weird.  I get in my head after I decide such things and Drazil goes to town.  He starts in on the “You’re not worthy of that raise.  Your work is not that great.  Anyone could do what you do.”
And I start to doubt and re-think my decision.  Stupid f*cking lizard.  Eat my 50% raise, you douche-canoe.

In other news – I’ve been using a Hello Kitty pen all day.  It’s pink and the top is literally Hello Kitty’s little head.  It’s juvenile to the extreme.  I love it.  If anyone dares make shit out of me for it, they’re going to find Hello Kitty’s head up their ass.  And they’ll owe me a new pen.
Um lastly – can I just say this?  I live in Podunk which is in a state that gets freaking cold in the winter-time.  And winter here lasts from like November to forever it seems.  If you live here – you know this. 

You know sometimes roads don’t even get plowed.  You know most towns have one snow truck and one dude who runs that truck and it’s gonna be a while.
Most people buy vehicles that will assist them in getting around in 12 feet of snow and 8 inches of ice – because ain’t nothing going to be closed around here just because of a little snow and ice.

Case in point.  I drove to work yesterday – in white-out conditions.  Hating every second of my life.  Debating on whether or not to kick in the 4 wheel drive.  White-knuckling the steering wheel because I’m a sissy girl.  Almost crying because I’m so pissed at myself for not living in Florida.
And what do you think is in front of me?  Someone going 35. 

Holy Mother of Zeus!?  Are you serious?  Going 35 is NOT safer than 55 when you need speed to plow through the drifts that are as tall as the hood of your car. 
I want to know why you own A SUPER DUTY 4x4 TRUCK WITH DUAL TIRES if you plan on never going above 35 in a snowstorm????????????

Get a Prius.  Then I won’t have to flip you off as I pass you on a double yellow 90 degree turn.  I’ll probably even feel bad for you.  I’ll wonder why the hell you own a Prius when you live in this state BUT I will understand why you are going 35mph at least.
JESUS balls.

The end.

5 comments:

angel shrout said...

See once upon a time I would have been right with you on the Prius bashing. Until one took out a Chrysler town and country van like it was a popcorn fart in the wind. My van. Totaled it. Apparently when the driver of said Prius is sleeping and accelerating that thing becomes a tank. Trust me on this.

twenty kilos to go said...

good on you! I have only ever seen a snow plow in a Simpsons episode! My worry at the moment is getting branded by the metal on the seatbelt when I get in the car. Today it read 48 degrees! Ouch.

MandaPanda said...

And THAT is why I live in FL!

Congrats on the raise and you are totally worth it!

Connie O said...

I have a Prius. I put snow tires on it and blow by all those people going 35 (assuming I can ever find a spot to pass them). ;)

Congrats on giving yourself a raise! You deserve it!

Melissa @ Faster In Water said...

I used to live in Cleveland, OH and let me tell you how much I laughed at the Prius owners getting stuck in the snow!