Wednesday, January 29, 2014

The Martha Stewart Chronicles.

You guys are seriously going to poop your little pants.

Oh fine.  Maybe not - but I might.  I am pretty sure though - that you’re going to nod off reading this.  It’s boring and crafty but I want to write it down.  So there.  (I honestly can't believe I'm writing this crap.  I love reading it on other's blogs but never thought I'd write it, much less do it.)
Remember last week when I said I got a craft bug up my ass and I planned to spend the weekend channeling my inner Martha Stewart?  I wasn’t kidding.  Oh Em Gee.  I love everything I made…even though multiple cuss words may have been spewn during the making. 
So I first decided to make a burlap wreath.  I have a blue accent wall in my dining room that matches my blue backsplash that leads into my kitchen.  I decided I wanted my burlap wreath to be the obvious brown burlap color with blue accents.  I used blue chevron burlap as well as burlap with black lettering printed on it as my fireplace has lots of black in it.  I used two blue flowers as accents and went to work.

First off – it ain’t as easy as the professional Marthas on YouTube make it look.  Or maybe it is and I just don’t have their talent.  I finished the project though and then decided I wanted my wreath “highlighted”.  I put blue LED lights behind it so it’s illuminated blue while it hangs.
To die for…if you ask me.

Sooo I was on a roll and decided to mod podge my end table with various patterns of blue paper.  Super cute…and literally probably took ½ hour.  We live in a split foyer home and a while back I had mod podged the entire first wall you see when you enter our home with all different sheets and sizes of wallpaper squares….so it wasn’t my first time mod podging.  The end table was blah and scuffed before I started and this fresh, new look is just what it needed.
I decided to go cray-cray at that point.  I started work on my February pennant to hang from my fireplace mantel.  I bought a pre-cut Valentine’s Day pennant kit a few days prior.  The letters and backgrounds and triangles were cut – however – I knew I was going to add to it – like big time. 

I made it more  vintage-y looking  by using lace, stickers and burlap hearts and even some 3D flower punch thingy-s I had left over from my scrapbooking days.  I tied multiple ribbons and burlap strips to the ends to spruce it up too.  I freaking love it people!!  Love, love, love.
I ended up painting some picture frames the blue of my wall and added them to my mantel as well.  I put warm white lights behind all the pics so they’d have an illumination like my wreath does. 

And now?  I’ve finally decided what to hang from my huge barn board beam that separates my living room from my dining room.  A burlap, lace, and ivy garland and pennant.  I made 90% of the pennant from scratch this time. 
I cut out burlap triangles and bought some crème colored triangles for my pennant.  I thought for a while about what I wanted my pennant to say and finally decided on this:  R + D = W & B.  I used the first initials from our real names but in blog code names it means: Rambo + Drazil = Watermelon & Banana.  A combination of simple letters and symbols in the same blue color that is everywhere else now. 

I stenciled and painted the letters on the burlap and the symbols went on the crème triangles.  I embellished each triangle with decorative blue accents, lace and burlap hearts.  I am now letting everything dry and flatten.  Then I’ll tie ribbons of burlap and lace to the ends like I did with the Valentine’s Day pennant.  And donezo!
I can’t just hang that on my barn beam because it’s a big, long space and it needs more.  Sooo I have decided to make a burlap, ivy and lace garland.  I haven’t decided how to do it yet.  I’ve done some research and have seen multiple methods but I’m still not sure.  I want the garland to be full and obvious but match the vintage décor on the fireplace since the barn beam connects to my fireplace. 

I may make four separate garlands.  One of beige/old looking ivy.  One of crème lace and one of brown burlap and one of blue burlap.  Then I might intertwine them to make one large garland.  The garland is not going to hang…it’s going to sit in the crevice between where the ceiling and beam meet illuminated by rope light in the back because the pennant will hang below it.
I put up lighted tree garland on both sides of the beam every Christmas and it’s my favorite thing and I hate taking it down (no shit – I just took it down only last night).  I know without a doubt I want something up there – lit up and pretty – all year long.  It just makes me happy.  And now I’ve finally figured out what to put there!

So now you’re thinking this all must look pretty tacky but I swear it doesn’t.  Not yet anyway. 
I recently brought up Rambo’s childhood antique dresser from downstairs and put it in the dining room.  It has a distressed mirror and intricate detailing and I couldn’t help but decorate it too.  A hurricane with a candle in it surrounded by pink hearts sitting on a lace doily.  A tiny pennant across the mirror that says BE MINE.  A couple other Valentine’s items and blue, navy and crème berry garland across the top of the mirror.  It sits against the blue accent wall and it’s my new favorite piece now.  I plan to decorate that little space for each month/holiday. 

The plan is to make a vintage pennant for the fireplace for each holiday as well.  I’m already working on the St. Patrick’s day pennant.  It’ll be the only thing I’ll have to change on the fireplace each month instead of decorating the entire mantel.  I’m over that and now I have the dresser space to decorate and my tiny tree that I change too.  It’s finally all coming together.  It only took me 10 years to give a damn about décor in my house. 
I was too busy changing diapers and surviving before to care.  Now I’m old and I know how to survive and diapers are no longer on my agenda.  Doing this stuff passes the time when Rambo is gone and my girls like to help, of course.  It’s a damn good thing there are no craft stores in Podunk because I went to one on Friday and spent way more than I’ll ever admit on all this crap.  Oopsie.

So tonight I continue work on the garland and pennant for the beam.  And yes – when I’m all done I swear to God I’ll take pictures of everything.  I just want to wait until everything is done and put together.
I still plan to paint our dining room table in blue and crème chevron stripes too…but that may have to wait a week.  I can’t sleep until my barn beam is done. 

Okay – now you can wake up.  It’s over.  The Martha Stewart Chronicles are finished for today. 
That’s about 10 minutes of your life you can’t get back. 

You’re welcome.


Marion Shaw said...

I found this very amusing, given that I made meringues this past weekend. I was kind of terrified, but then I just got the Pinterest recipe out on my Kindle and dove into beating those egg whites (with mixer of course). And in a few minutes, I had made numerous cute little pink blobs with curly-cues to bake at low temp in the oven. My family adored them!!! (And they've got to be the cheapest recipe ever to bake!) :D

Connie O said...

I am a fast reader, so I only lost about 7 minutes. ;) Actually, I like to read this kind of thing because it is like getting a glimpse into another world. I have no crafting skills whatsoever, so I admire those who do. Look forward to seeing photos!

Jewlz280 said...

It has to be that time of year! I've been doing my own version of Martha with tons of sewing, some little paint ideas and hanging pics and accents! It must be in the air. And... it's freezing cold so we have to have stuff to do to stay warm, right? LOL Can't wait to see the pics!!!

angel shrout said...

Yeah see I would love to be able to do stuff like that. Sadly the crafty gene missed me and hit my older twin sisters. I got the writing and photography bug... I think it suits me better anyway lol. But all that you made sounds adorable. I would love to just come up with ideas like that.

Frickin' Fabulous at 40 said...

What?!? All that and no pictures?!? Bitch!

MandaPanda said...

I'm with Frickin Fabulous...I want pics!!!