Tuesday, March 18, 2014

Shove your specials.

I’m writing a blog today so as to try to forget that I want to rip my own head off because I have a mother-effing migraine and my pain pill hasn’t kicked in yet. 

Did I tell you guys that I finally got my second round of Botox for migraines?  It’s supposed to only work for about 3 months – but I got a full 6 months out of it.  Thank God – because it’s about $2000 per appointment. 

Anyway – just a few weeks ago I got my 30 injections in my head, shoulders and neck and it’s working again – except once a month.  Like today – when I want to jump off a cliff head-first.  Jesus, Joseph and Mary – make it stop!
So yah – pain is gonna equal a randompants post.  Feel free to move on.  I sure would.

I “thought” Rambo and I were doing some home improvements in late Summer/early Fall….until my stupid, interest loving banker decided to say to me, “Do it now!  We’re running specials!”  Well f*ck a duck and call it Larry!  I would totally change my plans if I weren’t the type of person that plans out when I’m going to blink.  Does she seriously think I can move building a huge garage with a loft and a new spa bathroom up by 4 months with just a hop, skip and a jump?  Yah.  Sure. 
Please shove your specials in that special place you call your ass.
I want to shank her for putting the thought in my head.
I’d also like to shank Rambo for being an assface who likes to stir up trouble regarding these home improvements.  A reaaallllyyyy old man who hates Rambo because Rambo got elected and the man didn’t – is telling everyone in town who will listen that Rambo and I are paying for things like garages with Village money.  He even went through every record the Village has to “prove it”.  Of which – clearly he could not and did not.  It’s maddening.  I mean everyone in town knows how this guy is and most people know better but it still makes me angry. 

Rambo?  Oh my dear, dear, penis-toting man thinks it’s comical.  He went out of his way yesterday in a group of guys to tell them all that we are building a garage and the Village is going to pay for it.  I can’t even say out loud the things I wanted to do to Rambo when I heard this.  It’s not funny.
I mean – sure – there’s proof beyond proof that the only people paying for our personal shit – is us – personally - but I’d rather not go there and waste my time proving it. 

Rambo also told my teenage daughter that he’s putting a workout loft in the garage so all the workout equipment and tanning bed will move out of our finished basement into the garage.  He then proceeded to tell her she could then put a sectional couch downstairs with a big TV and popcorn maker and blah blah blah for her for when her friends come over.
I’m pretty sure that Rambo has forgotten that at some point – the “friends” his teenage daughter has over will be of the male species.  IDIOT.  Seriously.  What was he thinking?  Does he not remember what we did in any room where parents were not present?

Whatever.  You want to know what I’m focusing on?  I shall tell you.
For the longest time, I have been searching for a really old vehicle to put in my flower garden – like a Slug Bug or really old truck with a back.  Why?  Because I’m going to fill the trunk or back or sides with dirt and plant flowers in it so it looks like flowers are growing out of the windows and trunk or truck bed. 

I have the perfect spot for it – however – finding said vehicle is nothing short of impossible.
Until now.  For real – like no shit – I found an old Slug Bug that is rusty but still in decent shape with tires, doors and all the right parts.  I asked Rambo to go ask the guy if I could use it for flowers and the guy said YES.  He only wants the parts – not the body!  And the best part?  I think it’s going to be FREE!!!

Oh my good God in heaven – I could almost pee my pants.  I mean I’m not going to want to be inside my house while the bathroom is a disaster so I might as well be outside working my ass off on this project right?  Right.
Here’s a few pictures of what I’m hoping it’ll look like!  Whaddya think?  And by asking what you think I mean if you don’t love it – you’re not allowed to say anything, mkay?

Pain pill is working - time to get back to work! 


Beth Ann said...

I'm sorry you are feeling bad. Hope it doesn't last long!

Sarah Kopf said...

I'm coming over so I can see that Slug Bug IN PERSON filled with flowers! I am! Make room (cuz my ass is large and in charge. Oh wells.)

I say "F*ck a duck and call it Larry!" constantly! We were separated at birth. Call the county. I'm clearly adopted and need to ruin somebody's day.

As for migraines- gross. I only get headaches now when Tom rules into town. Douchebag. Shank HIM very much!


angel shrout said...

OH our weather has fluctuated so much my poor seasonal allergies are on high alert so I am apt to spring a headache, itchy watery eyes and snotty nose at the drop of a hat. Those headaches hurt bad enough I don't want a migraine. Haters are gonna always hate hun, let them. They are your stepping stone to the next level.. I LOVE the bug that is too cute and I wish I had a green thumb because I would so do something like that if I did.

Loving Life by Leesa said...

Love the planter idea! I get migraines too. Hope your headaches go away for good.

FitBy40 said...

OMG, I love that first one with the hood removed! What a fantastic idea.
Sorry about the headache...I can relate because back when I was on YAZ I had headaches so bad I'd swear I was going to have a stroke!
Glad the shots are working, and you finally found some relief!