Tuesday, March 25, 2014

Things I know for sure...

1-Everyone at one point in their life should feel uninhibited and free enough to sing at the top of their lungs to a song they made up every word to. 

Last night I was in the kitchen and I heard a noise and I wasn’t sure what it was so I stopped.  And I stayed stopped – when I realized it was my 8 year old singing about a fluffy kitty that lived inside the clouds.  She was BELTING it.  Off pitch, making up the lyrics and the beat and twirling around like a fairy with a scarf tied around her neck as a cape all at once. 

That – is the definition of freedom and pure joy, my friends. 

I know for sure that one day – I will miss that singing.  I know for sure – that on a lot of days – I wish I was 8 again…making up songs and singing and not giving a damn who heard me.

2-I know for sure that there are certain things men do that women just don’t do. 
For example – on two streets in our town – there are HUGE – and I mean HUGE – black tire marks that go in all directions and in circles for quite a long way.  Like you see them and think – WHOA – that dude was drunk and also HAS NO TIRES LEFT.  You KNOW with every fiber of your feminine being that a MAN did that.  Twice mind you -  and that if by some chance there was a woman in the car with him – the whole time she was screaming – STOP IT YOU MORON – TIRES ARE EXPENSIVE!! – while she was slapping the shit out of his arm. 
3-Example number 2 of something I know for sure that men do that women don’t do? 

Women do not yell and call for their kids to come out of their rooms and into the kitchen on the pretense of asking for a random hug.  If it’s a man – it ain’t random. 

It is so that when the child hugs the father, his ass can explode in a fart that the neighbors can hear and he can yell, “OMG – look what you did!!  You squeezed that out of me!  It’s all your fault that the house smells like a chemical plant now!” 

It is also so that he can fall on the floor laughing at his genius-ness like he’s the first person to ever think of such a thing. 

Dude – it’s just the same as “pull my finger”…you just put it on sterroids. 

Save.  Me.  Now.

4-I know for sure that as I get older, I’m still not totally in love with every part of myself but I accept who I am and embrace it – rather than spend every waking moment trying to change myself. 
I used to literally want to be someone else, someone “better”…and now I’m sure that “better” isn’t so unattainable.  I just have to be kind, nice, compassionate and loving every day and that’s always better. 
Some days I just have to act like Satan too but that’s just a given.
5-I know for sure that someone should invent disposable toilets.  You should be able to use a toilet and press a button and the whole damn toilet disappears into oblivion and a new toilet appears.  No more cleaning a toilet ever.  I know this is a good idea for sure because I still work and live with and tolerate Explosive Man.  Enough said.

6-I know for sure that I have made some major mistakes in my life. 
I know that there are people I will never forgive – even though I should….because carrying the hurt around is exhausting. 
I know that I am flawed and I analyze too much and I hold too much of myself back out of fear. 
I know more and more every day that life is about intentions.  Hurt, fear, rejection, pain, betrayal – behind every single negative thing I do or has been done to me – there is intention.  If I could get past the emotion and look to the intention behind it….I’d realize that though I’m hurt or in pain – it was probably never anyone’s intention to make me feel that way.  And though I’ve hurt people – it was never, ever my intention either.  I’d forgive myself and others much more easily if I’d just remember that. 

What do you know for sure?


angel shrout said...

I know for sure I love coming to read your stuff.. I know for sure I would love to hang out with ya'll although I may be a bit too country for ya,, I think ya'll are my kinda people. I think that you amaze me with all you do in a day and still can find the gratefulness. I think forgiveness isn't about them it is about you my dear and the quicker you learn that the lighter the load becomes.. Forgiving doesn't mean you negate what they did it just means you give up time to keep allowing them to have that kind of hold on you..and you live wonderfully IN spite of it instead of TO spite them..

FitBy40 said...

My little one is almost 7 and is already so embarrassed by everything! She would never sing out loud, not even for me and her Dad. It's sad that she grew up so fast. Enjoy every second of that sweet innocence!
OMG, I love Rambo. My husband is such a conservative tight ass (who I love!) that he has never passed gas in front of me in our 10 years of marriage. He actually gets mad at me if I do!

MrsFatass said...


I'm enjoying catching up on some posts. And give that burlap wreath a break. It's cute.