My kids do not poop rainbows or fart gumdrops every second and taking baths up to my neck in Skittles is seemingly becoming a rare occasion.
I’ll admit – lately though – I’ve been quietly sitting and thinking that I have pretty damn good kids and I’m so grateful for that BUT there are nights like last night when I want to run screaming.
It had been a long ass day and my body and mind were long ass tired…and I kid you not. I stepped inside the door and out runs one of them and says, “What’s for supper?”Can I get inside the house first? Can I take off one shoe? Can I set down my purse? ….before you own me for the rest of the night?
OMG – run. Screaming. Far, far away. It’s all I could think about.2-This is my 1000th post. I’m pretty sure I’m supposed to do some huge giveaway or something like that according to blog protocol but I haven’t written anything of substance in quite some time so I’m not sure anyone would sign up if I had anything to give away so there’s that. Oopsie.
3-If you’re read my blog for any amount of time, you probably know my political affiliation. Anyway – you know how on the news there are tons of stories about new insurance coverage horror stories? Well – I’ve heard them just like everyone has but today?
Today – out of the blue – a guy I know who is self-employed said to me, “Wanna know how much insurance would cost under the ACA for just me and my wife?” He said, “$1800.00.” He can’t afford it. He won’t get it. He’ll pay the penalty.
After he left – I thought to myself – Wow – I just heard a real, personal story to my face that validates some of the other stories. Harry Reid would probably tell me it’s a lie. So there’s that. It just made me sad for him. Ugh.4-Rambo emailed me the other night and simply said, “It’s bad here tonight. A guard died in the prison this morning.”
Jesus Christ on speed – you CANNOT say something like that to the wife of a prison guard. Of course – I immediately think a prisoner killed him BECAUSE I HAD NO CLARIFICATION or explanation otherwise.The guard, indeed died of medical issues.
I wanted to kill Rambo at that moment and say it was “because you’re a stupid human with a penis” issues.5-I had an “aha” moment this weekend. It was an “aha – my life is indeed over” moment when I realized that I was cleaning the cleaning supplies. Who does that?
No shit – I was cleaning the Swiffer in the sink with a toothbrush. Like really? I’m pretty sure there are other things that need to be cleaned more – like perhaps the toilet I avoid – than the Swiffer.
Yah. In my world, it matters if your f*cking Swiffer is spotless….but matters not if your toilet is a swamphole.
6-We’ve begun the exhausting process of getting bids for our new shed and bathroom and I just want to say, “Holy shit on a stick!” I under-estimated costs substantially. Which in turn means I under-estimated the amount of whining, tantrum throwing, feet stomping, and crying that I would do…substantially.I need to find a way to lower costs. I may need to scale back my list of wants
7-I consigned a bunch of shit at a local store and I checked my account and it’s all sold! BOOM! Now to do the responsible thing and GO BUY MORE SHIT.8-I’m making another coffee filter wreath and this time I am painting it bright sun yellow. My front door is bright blue and I’m putting the yellow wreath on it. Then I plan to take an old pair of Rambo’s tall black rainboots and spray paint them the same yellow and maybe draw a little something on them and then plant flowers in them.
They’ll go on the front porch by the door/wreath. Then maybe a big straw hat on a bench….not sure. I just know it’s Spring and the front porch needs a new look. What’s on your front porch?
9-I’m DUH-EYE-ING to get out in the yard and get my hands dirty in my landscaping. I have a big ‘ol list already going of what has to be done! Have you guys seen fairy gardens? I think I’m going to make one in my wheelbarrow this year. That and the big slug bug project are the two main things I’m going to work on. My slug bug is almost ready!10-Have you guys seen that JELLY shoes are back??? Did you ever wear them when you were younger? Oh my God – I have to get a pair. Or 16. Just because. Are you going to get a pair?