Tuesday, April 15, 2014

Weekend recap minus Monday's donkey balls.

I was going to write a whole post yesterday but it was Monday and when I sat down to write – literally the only thing my brain could think to say was, “Mondays suck donkey balls.  Giant, hairy, nasty donkey balls with sugar on top.”  I couldn’t move past that sentiment into anything that anyone would want to read so I moved on to Tuesday.

My weekend was busy.  And by busy I mean me and a bunch of my redneck friends helped another friend move.  I kid you not.  At one point – one guy was in a skidloader on the ground while one guy was standing on a pallet that was on the skidloader and a honkin huge couch was dangling precariously on top of said pallet.  We raised that couch on that tiny pallet two stories and hoisted it over a deck and into the apartment.  At one point – I looked over and 5 people stood at the neighbor’s house watching – and pointing – and most importantly – laughing at us. 
Seriously – so dangerous.  A massive couch on a tiny pallet two stories up and a guy standing on the edge of the pallet.  We broke about 80 safety violations in five minutes.  Oh and did I mention there was beer involved?  Cuz there was.

When I said redneck friends – I wasn’t kidding.
Naturally, because I’m so out of shape – I was sore as hell the rest of the weekend from moving on Friday.  Somehow I found the strength to go shopping on Saturday though.

On Sunday – Rambo and I never departed from our bed until 11:30am.  Oopsie.  At 3pm, I was back in that blissful bed taking a nap until 6pm.  I literally slept the day away.  I did do some cleaning because Monday was house appraisal day and I had to at least pretend that our house looks like a catalog every single day for Mrs. Appraisor woman you know?
And that – my friends – is my weekend recap.  Try not to be jealous of my exciting life.  Maybe some day if you keep working hard – you too – can grow up to sleep entire Sundays away…but you must keep working hard. 

Cuz that shit don’t come easy.

1 comment:

Jewlz280 said...

Maybe not the safest thing, but smart as crap! Hard getting big pieces up flights of stairs! Hope your appraisal went well... those things make me nervous!