Thursday, August 25, 2016

I'm Still Crazy.

Hi there!

Long time, no talk huh?

I’d love to just start writing where I left off with no explanation but I feel like I kind of owe myself an explanation.  I can’t call myself any kind of writer when I haven’t been to this space in 2 years.  I also can’t exactly explain my break.  It was never planned.  I just stopped…which is really sad considering I started this blog as a diary and memory garden for my girls to some day have and for me to look back on as well.  I lost a lot of precious memories by not journaling here daily for them…and for me.

I’ve looked at this space a million times in 2 years.  I’ve tried to write that many times as well but the words never came.  This space and who I used to be in it aren’t the same anymore…and 2 years later – I finally accepted that.

Two years later and my hands feel like typing and my head feels like spilling.

So yah – I’m going to be a jackhole and just pretend like I was never gone and just pick up where I left off.  Pretending is fun.  It’s a lot like taking baths in Skittles, you know?
I mentioned things have changed and boy, have they!  I think I’ll do a little summary of where we are in the fam so I have a starting point.

As for me, I’m different but the same.  I still have one full time job and 2 part time jobs…all at the same places.  I still feel too deep, over-analyze too much and drink way too much Mountain Dew.
Rambo is a whole different man.  If you remember – he was a Correctional Sargent in a super max prison and had been for most of our marriage.  He kinda hated every minute of it and despised that his wife and his girls were threatened almost daily….so he left that job.  Holy batshit, right?  I mean who leaves a job after 15 years!?  He did and we did as a family.  He went a whole 14 days before he found a full time job that he loves more than I love unicorns.  And let me tell you – I love me some unicorns.  He still has his 3 other part time jobs and for the love of God – just got offered another PT job.  The man isn’t bored that’s for sure.

Watermelon is now in high school AND will get her license in a few months.  She’s in 10th grade this year and heavily active in sports and a million other things that I can’t keep track of but she’s a good kid.  We haven’t had any issues with her or her grades/friends/boyfriends/etc….and I’m pretty sure it’s because everyone who knows her knows Rambo and every boy in her class is scared of him.  Last time Watermelon had a pool party he told one guy in her class that he has a collection of knives and he’s so skilled at using them he could castrate a fly with one of them.  Yup – not kidding.  She’s a lucky girl, huh?

Rambo’s will power is being tested pretty often with her though because somehow she ended up being a beautiful girl and there’s no shortage of boys at our house daily.  It’s pretty funny if you ask me.  Payment for the sins of Rambo’s youth I say.

Banana is in middle school now which means she’s in sports now too.  I have officially entered the part of my life where I have two kids in everything and most days I can’t tell my head from my ass.  So far so good with her too though.  Good grades and good friends and stays active.  I wish I could say there haven’t been boys in her life yet but *sigh* - dammit if she didn’t turn out pretty too.  How the holy hell did I get two athletic, pretty girls?  It’s going to be the death of Rambo and I.
As they get older, they are gone more and more and while I miss them, I have enough hobbies of my own to keep me from sobbing in a corner.  I still landscape and craft the shit out of everything.  Got a bug in my ass to paint all the red exterior brick on our house one day and did that.  I decorate and re-decorate the mantel and foyer every month like some old lady with 90 cats.  And I was just recently informed that my house will be in the line-up for an upcoming flower garden tour and a Christmas tour so I’ve been stressing about that for a couple months now.  Let the lists begin!

The best thing though is that my best friend in the entire world is getting married next year and I’m the Matron of Honor.  Best reason ever to lose weight, right?  No way am I going to be the biggest person up there on that altar!  So yah, journaling and working out are part of my daily routine now too…and I love it.

Whew.  There you go…the run-down of 2 years in a few paragraphs.  Kind of sad the things I left out or lost because I just didn’t feel like writing…but I’m here now and committed to continuing this memory journal.

For the record – I still take baths in Skittles.  Daily.  I still fart gumdrops on the good days and more often than not, I still live in Care Bear Land where everything is a puffy cloud and every problem in the world can be fixed with a Care Bear stare and Mountain Dew comes out of the faucets.
I mean you didn’t really think that somehow in just the span of 2 years that I suddenly lost all my crazy and became sane did you?  

That would take way more than 2 years.  Just sayin’.


Melissa @ Faster In Water said...

HOLY $#%&! So glad to hear, or READ, from you. Literally just thought about your blog last month!

Glad things are going well!!!

Cindy said...

Welcome back!

Frickin' Fabulous at 40 said...

YAY!!! You're baaaaack!

aec5940 said...

Wow! You're back! I was just thinking of that post about shaving and the picture of the chicken you, so very accurate!
Anyways, welcome back!

Amy W. said...

Welcome back dude! I miss your writing...and that's a complement bc I am so critical of how people wax a yarn...or you know what I mean. I def go long spells before I blog again, and have written many posts in my head that never make it OUT of my head...but I am trying! So don't stop!

Erin said...

I am so fucking glad you are back!! I was so worried that something catastrophic had happened. I'm glad life is great for you!